Facing your Inner Saboteur
When it comes to assessments of your personality, strengths, areas of improvement, characteristics, performance, etc., what do you think when you run across one? Do you ignore or avoid them because you are skeptical or fearful of getting a lesser result than you hoped? Or do you embrace them as more insight into how you show up in this world? Personally, I fall into the latter category. This weekend I came across an assessment from Positive Intelligence, which provides insight into your predominant saboteurs.
According to Positive Intelligence, there are ten saboteurs. We all suffer from them and carry one or multiple saboteurs deeply rooted in us from childhood. These saboteurs helped protect us growing up, but as adults, they can get in our way of living a healthy, balanced life. Other institutions may refer to these saboteurs in different terms and call them your “gremlin,” “inner critic,” or “limiting beliefs.” We all have them. It’s the voice in our head telling us that we are not good enough for some reason.
In full transparency, my top saboteur is that I am a “hyper-achiever.” Those who know me are probably giggling right now and thinking, “duh, you needed an assessment to tell you that”? Now, some might value being a hyper-achiever as a positive thing. Especially in the corporate world, hyper-achievers are the type of people that can be counted on to deliver at all costs. They are also sometimes known as workaholics. Hyper-achievers are competitive, driven, and self-motivated, yet image and status conscious. There is ego involved in succeeding.
Positive Intelligence provides longer descriptions of all saboteurs. They elaborate on thoughts, feelings, and impact on others, as well as the root cause of one’s saboteur. I am well aware of mine. It is known as “absent validation from parental figures.” Academic achievements were not only discouraged by my mother (can you imagine?), but they were also downright boycotted. My athletic achievements as a karate champion were ignored. Whatever I accomplished was not good enough to evoke praise. This lack of acknowledgment continued well into my adulthood. I was 35 when my mom told me for the first time how proud my dad, who had passed five years earlier, and she was of me.
My saboteur drove me to overcompensate in all areas of my life. In my career, I reached the level of Vice President in multi-billion-dollar organizations, but I paid an emotional toll, which was two near burnouts. To make matters worse, I was married to a narcissist who played into my insecurities, further dismantling my self-worth.
Fast-forward several years. There were many hours of therapy and a journey of self-discovery that led me to the decision to become a professional coach. My level of self-awareness is currently at its peak. I have turned my tragedy into triumph by helping others to raise their level of consciousness and achieve the career of their dreams. Not because they are hyper-achievers and will work themselves to death, but because they are worthy. I can help them be successful without the struggles I endured.
If you are interested in finding your inner saboteur, you can do the Positive Intelligence assessment by going to the following link: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/resources/. If you are ready to do some inner work and face your saboteur, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.
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