Choosing wisely when you find yourself at a major crossroad
Have you ever delayed an action that you knew would benefit your body, mind, and/or soul 100%, a choice that would change the trajectory of your career or life, a.k.a. a game changer? You may have desired that change for a very long time. For example, living healthier, changing your job because the culture is toxic, leaving your partner who no longer deserves you, moving to another country; but something kept you from pulling the trigger.
It is human nature to avoid leaving our comfort zone and remain inactive. It is the “better-the-devil-you-know” attitude that prevents us from proceeding. It is fear holding us back and the higher the stakes, the more intense the self-imposed knot in our stomach grows. If you are currently facing this type of situation and you are on the precipice of making a game-changing choice in your life, let me share a few tips that might help you choose more wisely.
- Make a holistic choice
I am a very head-driven person, and my default modus operandi is to try and solve problems logically. However, we are holistic beings and when we only utilize our minds when facing a decision, we are missing out on all the available resources. Instead, I recommend the following: Ask yourself the question “if my heart had a voice, what would it tell me?” Repeat the same question and exchange “heart” with “mind” and “soul”.
- Define your boundaries
Take out sticky notes and a big white piece of paper and come up with answers to the questions “I say yes to…” and “I say no to…”. What you say yes to is what you are inviting into your life and what you say no to are the things you are not willing to tolerate as you are moving forward.
- Ask your future self for the answer
Fast forward and imagine yourself towards the end of your life. Looking back at the current situation, what would you have wanted to have chosen for yourself? Taking that perspective not only offers you a lifetime of experience and wisdom, but it may also shrink what might currently look insurmountable to a smaller, more manageable situation.
- Built a safety net
Ask yourself the question “what is the worst thing that could happen?”, then go through each of the answers and challenge the reality of that scenario. If you come to the realization that your fear is not a reality, or likely to happen, it takes the burdening energy out of the thought. If it is a real fear, come up with a plan on how to tackle it.
- Get coached through the pain/gain model of action
The pain/gain model of action is an iPEC (Institute of professional excellence in coaching) decision-making tool that explores four factors with the client – the current and future pain and gain of a situation. Frequently we only look at external blocks holding us back from making a change, i.e. “I don’t have the money”. A coach will help you raise your awareness of the underlying inner blocks preventing you from making a change. Ask me for more information about this.
- Look for the opportunities or the gifts
Ask yourself, “what are the opportunities or the gifts in this new situation?”. When we shift our perspective towards the “blessings in disguise”, we are more open-minded about the decision we are about to make, because a positive attitude shifts our energy up.
I am about to make a big game-changing decision in my life. I am contemplating a return to Europe. While in the past my default reaction would have been to go into research mode and create an Excel spreadsheet about all of the pros and cons of living in one country vs. another, my heart is telling me that that reaction no longer serves me best. I consider myself fortunate to have so many more tools and options available to choose wisely.
If hiring a coach is that big decision that has been weighing on you, let’s talk. My signature coaching program called SOAR (the acronym stands for the four phases Seek, Outline, Awake, and Relearn) is a blueprint to help professionals like you transform mindfully and with ease so you can SOAR in all areas of your life. Contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com for a free discovery call to find out if I am the right coach for you.