I don’t care – or do I? How detaching from the outcome helps you perform better
If one thing can set me off, it’s openly displayed ignorance or defiance. Picture a person responding to your feedback with “whatever” (eye-rolling implied). It drives me crazy when people don’t care so it may surprise you that I suggest caring less as a viable business strategy.
Many successful people have a certain trait in common; they might be ambitious go-getters with a desire to control the outcome. I know because that is how I operated in my past corporate executive roles. It was difficult for me to learn there is a different path that can set you up for equal if not greater success. It is called detaching from the outcome.
As a coach, I frequently introduce my clients to this concept. The idea is to care less about the outcome, realize what is in your control vs. out of your control, and approach every situation with a learning mindset. Voilà you have been introduced to the ABC method of guaranteed success.
Within my signature coaching program called SOAR (the acronym stands for the four phases Seek, Outline, Awake, and Relearn) I first encourage my clients to answer the following questions:
- What does “success” mean to you?
- Which of the factors you just listed do you have 100% control over?
- What typically happens when your expectations of a successful outcome do not materialize?
Their answers tell me a lot about their performance orientation and the amount of pressure they put on themselves. Because here is the thing – most things are out of our control! Once you realize that all we control are our thoughts, feelings, and actions, you might want to try a different approach to defining success, that is a lot less stressful.
Next, I introduce my clients to the ABC method of setting goals which approaches goal setting with a mastery mindset so that you can detach from the outcome in case you miss the goal. But you still learn from the experience by giving it your best effort. According to iPEC (the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching) the ABC-Game plan provides a safety net when things do not go as planned or you relied too heavily on others or things you cannot control when you set your goals.
Your ”A” plan is your goal as you defined it. Plan “B” is exactly that – your backup plan with slightly lower expectations. If you cannot achieve plan “A” then how can you define an outcome that is still successful, even if you missed the mark by a little? Plan “C” is the backup to the backup plan. You still have a successful outcome if you approach everything you do with a mastery mindset. At a minimum, you will have a learning experience from anything you attempt to achieve.
To some, this method may be perceived as setting the bar low, which is completely understandable in an environment where everything is measured in revenue and profits. Caring less about an outcome does not mean you don’t care. The truth is that by being mindful of what we can control, we allow for all of the uncontrollable to happen, and perform at our best in any given situation. This frees up much more energy, which would normally drain us from stress and anxiety, which we can now apply to the ABC Plan.
If you care too much about your job and your performance at work and are completely stressed out about it, I encourage you to try this method and if you need help with it contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com. I am still accepting new clients for my signature program SOAR, which is a blueprint for professionals like you to transform mindfully and with ease so you can SOAR in all areas of your life.