The current COVID-19 pandemic has left millions of people unemployed with a bleak outlook for their futures and careers. This applies across most generations, levels of experience, and education.

Regardless of the status of your employment right this moment, chances are that at one point along the way, you were rejected by a college, company, or institution of your dreams. The question is, how did you choose to respond to the rejection? 

Some approaches are more constructive than others and burying your head in the proverbial sand isn’t one of them. Here are three productive strategies I have observed on how best to deal with rejection, listed in order of the least to the most level of success I believe they promise:

A)  Challenging the decision

B)  Up-skilling

C)  Moving on

A) Challenging the decision

A French artist, and personal friend whom I admire, persevered in obtaining acceptance into Sorbonne University after initially being rejected by challenging the decision. For those who are not familiar with “the Sorbonne,” it’s an elite school in Paris, equal in status to some of the Ivy League colleges in the United States.

She was already quite accomplished when she applied: she held a master’s degree in art, had her own studio in Paris, and exhibited in galleries all over the world. She is not, however, the type to rest on her laurels, so she applied in order to pursue a second master’s degree.

Being faced with that initial rejection did not sit well with her. One night she decided to share her frustration in a long note addressed to a generic e-mail account at the university.  She argued that it did not make sense to refuse her on the merits of lacking experience in contemporary art when that was exactly the experience she was seeking to gain in the program. (Think: being rejected at a French-language school for not knowing French.) She must have struck a chord with the director of admissions because he appealed to the admissions committee on her behalf. The initial decision was revoked and a couple of years later, she received her second master’s degree from the Sorbonne.

In this particular scenario, the artist’s tenacity paid off because she had the qualifications to back it off, but in my experience challenging the decision seldom works. 

B) Up-skilling

A former direct report of mine and a long-term member of the organization desired a promotion within the company. When he saw an internal posting for a senior-level management position, he “put his name in the hat.” He was rejected. 

This team member had a technical background and lacked the broad educational background that the position required. The candidate ultimately chosen for the role had that business education, which gave him the upper leg. To prevent this from happening again, my direct report signed up for an M.B.A. program. His improved business skills were recognized by superiors, and within a year he was promoted to a director level. 

Up-skilling is always a good response to rejection. Another “feather in your cap” can differentiate you from others, and increase your chances of getting a resounding “yes” the next time you seek that next-level position.

C) Moving on

Several years ago, I applied for a job that was considered highly desirable in the industry. After my first interview, I was instantaneously invited to come to the headquarters of the organization. Later that day, the hiring manager called and provided very enthusiastic feedback to my meetings with several stakeholders. He even encouraged me to look at real estate in the area right away. On top of that, I received a bouquet of flowers from the recruiter, thanking me for my flexibility in making myself available on short notice. Who here has ever received flowers during their “courtship” with a company? I felt certain, that an offer was forthcoming, but then the company “ghosted” me. I was rejected and didn’t get the benefit of any insight.

Although I felt disappointed at first, I moved on immediately, and the next company I pursued offered me an executive position that was tailor-made for me.

When moving on instead of dwelling on the reasons why you were rejected or getting into a downward spiral of self-doubt, you demonstrate resilience and an optimistic outlook that there are more suitable opportunities ahead. 

So, what is the take-away? You always have options on how to respond to rejection.  Adjust your mindset.  What if rejection just means re-direction? Could it be a sign that you are pursuing the wrong path? Or you are looking at the right opportunity, but you are just not ready for it, yet? Next time you are hearing “NO”, take a step back and consider it an opportunity to re-engage, re-evaluate or re-direct. 

If you feel that coaching could help you increase your level of perseverance, contact me!