Have you ever felt your life and your career were on course and everything seemed shipshape? Then, all of a sudden, events occur that you did not see coming and they totally threw you off track? If so, don’t despair. In this article, I will share how to get back to inner peace and smooth sailing, even in the midst of a storm.  

This past week, I experienced a series of unexpected events. Last Friday we had a mid-April snowstorm in New England and a huge tree fell on my swimming pool and destroyed it. Additionally, I spoke to my family in Germany via FaceTime with excitement about my planned visit in June. My 81-year-old mother is in declining health, and due to COVID-19 I already had to cancel a trip that was planned for last November. Within an hour of getting off the call, I received an e-mail from the airline canceling my flight! As if that wasn’t enough disappointment to deal with, later that day I had a call from my health care provider (HCP) about recent test results that warrant further diagnostics. I felt as if someone had taken the wind right out of my sails.

According to Meriam Webster the definition of “taking the wind out of someone’s sails” means to cause someone to lose confidence or energy. “What an interesting thought,” I said to myself. As that is exactly how I felt; deflated and drained of energy. We can all relate to wind being an energy source, but when it comes to our innermost feelings, there is still a lack of awareness about the connection of our personal feelings to our level of energy.

During my coaching training, I learned all about that connection between our thoughts, feelings, and actions and the way we show up in this world, aka our level of energy; which is either draining and destructive (catabolic) or creative and productive (anabolic). The most empowering concept about what, as iPEC-trained coaches refer to as “Energy Leadership”, is that we all have a choice in the matter of what level of energy we want to experience and therefore are perfectly capable to weather any storm. 

The events that occurred in the past few days were completely out of my control. What was and always is within my control is how I choose to respond. With that knowledge, I was able to shift my thoughts of being a victim of the circumstances to having choices and opportunities to learn quickly. For example, regarding the pool, I called my insurance company to cover the damage. As far as the visit to Germany is concerned, I booked a trip with a different airline within an hour and postponed my visit by a month, telling myself that at least in July Mercury will be out of retrograde (look it up, it is a thing). And concerning my lab results, I scheduled a consult with my HCP to discuss options about my next steps.  

What I did in all three scenarios was reframe my mind from feeling powerless, stressed, and out of control to looking at my options and understanding that consciously chosen solutions are much more empowering and increased my level of energy to an anabolic (creative and productive) level.  

Working with my coaching clients, we frequently look for ways to reframe the mindset to thoughts, feelings, and actions that better serve them, realizing that this is all we can control. So, if you find yourself in a situation of overwhelm, try the following four steps: 

1. STOP what you are doing and take a breather

Your frazzled mind is in overdrive and in order to process what is going on and shift from reaction to response, you need to break the cycle of those thoughts, feelings, and actions that are causing you the anxiety in the first place. Stop, walk away, take a break. Whatever you need to do to move from reactive to responsive or better yet proactive.  

2. Unload your thoughts

The easiest way to unload your thoughts is through journaling, by simply writing your thoughts down. You don’t need a fancy journal to do this. Any pen/pencil and paper will do. 

Another effective way to capture your thoughts is to talk to a trained professional, such as a coach. A coach can help you unpack your thoughts and help find solutions that work for you.  

3. Question your thoughts

Ask yourself “is the story I am telling myself really true”. Frequently we burden ourselves with external expectations that may or may not be true. Who put that deadline on your schedule? You or your manager? How negotiable is it? Is your environment really having these performance expectations of you, or are they self-imposed? When we dig into our own thoughts, we can discover that many times they are not true, and uncover thinking that is getting in our way of moving forward. 

4. Reframe your mind

Telling yourself that you “should” be working instead of scheduling time for a workout or a walk, takes away from the joy of activities that help recharge your batteries and increase your level of energy. Instead, give yourself permission to take a time-out for yourself. Busy isn’t always productive, so reframing how we think about things can have a very positive impact. 

Following these four simple steps takes practice but once you master them very little can get you off course, and your life and career are bound for smooth sailing. If you are doubtful or feel that you could benefit from a professional coach to help you learn how to reframe your mind, please contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com. Ahoy mate!