You got this! Tools to overcome survival mode

I have been through a lot lately and feel like I have been in survival mode for several months.  I left 27 years of my life in the U.S. behind and have returned to my hometown, Bremerhaven, in Germany.  In preparation, I had to plan the logistics of taking my dog Boone with me, which in and of itself had its challenges.  I chose an international moving company, radically purged my belongings, and sold furniture on the marketplace on Facebook.  I sold my car – through an app, which was a new experience for me.  I canceled subscriptions and services and said goodbye to my friends.  All of this took a toll on me. 

I know I am not alone in dealing with a lot these days.  The end of a year can be overwhelming for many, between high expectations of spending the holidays with loved ones while still giving work a final push to achieve sales numbers and other targets.  Many of my clients could not wait for a well-deserved break, only to return to a somewhat chaotic workplace where e-mails have piled up, meetings are resuming, and angry customers are waiting for a return phone call. 

Everyone seems to be in survival mode, so below, I provide a few tips and tools to make it through and build your resilience because that is exactly what you ( and I ) need to avoid burnout.

1. Have a plan but remain flexible enough to change it.
2. Ask for help.
3. Remind yourself of hurdles you overcame in the past. 
4. Be kind to yourself.
5. Find a mantra that resonates with you. 
6. Have a plan but remain flexible enough to change it.

Whatever stressful life situation you face, things don’t always go according to plan.  Despite all my preparation to fly my dog to Germany well in advance, I had to delay our departure by three weeks because the veterinarian was unable to read his microchip, triggering a chain reaction that led to rebooked flights, significant cost increases, and relatives having to change their plans to pick us up at the airport. Sometimes, the ability to change plans on a dime can make the difference between a successful execution or a complete failure. Remaining flexible is key.

2. Ask for help.

By my admission, asking for help does not come easily to me.  I prefer doing things independently and don’t want to inconvenience others, even when they offer help. That is a weakness of mine and probably a lingering limiting belief that asking for help signals weakness.  Deep in my heart, I know that isn’t true.  Since we cannot be in multiple places at one time or clone ourselves, there were situations that absolutely required a friend’s or family member’s help.  We cannot do it all alone, and by allowing others to step in, we are granting others a sense of satisfaction to do good and make a difference. 

3. Remind yourself of hurdles you overcame in the past.

Suppose you have lived for a few decades like me. In that case, you have likely experienced obstacles at work or in life that required you to apply all your available coping skills to overcome them: grit, talking to a professional coach or therapist, physical activity, meditation, etc., to name a few. I know that challenging situations of the past have equipped me with all the skills I need to make it through the reintegration in Europe, and I am reminding myself of this daily. 

4. Be kind to yourself.

Frequently, we are our worst critics and judge ourselves much more complicatedly than others with compassion would.  If you add high expectations for quick and impressive results on top of that, you are putting yourself under undue pressure.  Imagine a close friend of yours was in the same situation; what advice would you give them?  Treat yourself with that same level of kindness and set some achievable goals. 

5. Find a mantra that resonates with you.

When I decided to move back to Germany, I wrote my late mother’s mantra on my bathroom mirror.  “You got this, Angela,” signed Mom.  I looked at it multiple times a day with an inner smile.  Mantra means “a tool for the mind.”  Its purpose is to stop negative thought loops, create a higher vibration, and focus our minds.  This may seem simple, but it works.  Find a mantra that resonates with you.  Here are a few suggestions I frequently use: “This, too, shall pass,” “Everything will work out fine,” “The universe has my back,” and “Trust the process.”  If these do not work for you, here is a list of over 100 mantras: https://mindfulnessbox.com/mantras-to-live-by/.

I am in Germany now, and while my adjustment period has not exactly gone smoothly, I have deep faith that everything will work out in my favor and that a bountiful future awaits.  Until I have more clarity about where I will live long-term and what I will do professionally, I will hold on to these survival tools to keep me going. 

If you are in survival mode and are seeking a professional coach to guide you mindfully through your transformation, reach out to me and ask me about my signature coaching program called SOAR (the acronym stands for the four phases SEEK, OUTLINE, AWAKE, and RELEARN) at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.  I have faith in you.  You got this!