Belladonna Career Coaching

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Approach your career with a clean slate

Approach your career with a clean slate

Tabula rasa means “clean slate” in Latin. Imagine starting your career with a clean slate? Erase ALL your experiences, trials and tribulations and what you have learned thus far. 

What would you do? What would be possible? What story would you want to write? How would you feel about your new choices? Now, what is holding you back?

Career coaching empowers you to re-write your story and create your future. Go ahead and wipe that slate clean! I dare you.

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Rats – six career lessons I learned from a recent rodent invasion

Rats – six career lessons I learned from a recent rodent invasion

Just like many of you, I’ve been spending more time at home during COVID-19 which has made me focus on the beauty of nature.  I installed a bird feeder outside my kitchen window, and was enjoying all the daily visits from colorful cardinals, blue jays and yellow finches.  I didn’t even mind the occasional squirrel partaking in the activity, after all, there was enough food for everyone. That thought, however, rapidly changed two weeks ago, when I first spotted a rat on the feeder. 

Although feeling a little uneasy, I tried to tell myself that this was just another one of God’s creatures, similar to a squirrel, just not nearly as cute. Eventually, the rat went away, or so I thought, even telling a friend that the rat had moved on. The following morning, I ate my words for breakfast, when an entire rat family was also enjoying breakfast off the bird feeder. 

You might wonder how a rat invasion is related to career advice.  I went through so many levels of thoughts and emotions in dealing with the situation, that I realized they apply to any condition in life, and decided this was a great exercise in raising one’s vibration.  Here are the six lessons I learned from this experience:

1) Don’t be a victim
2) Anger can be a motivator
3) Read the signs
4) Embrace any situation as a learning opportunity
5) Engage an expert when reaching limitations
6) Move on

1. Don’t be a victim

For a short time after seeing that rat family, I was full of fear and felt paralyzed.  I was beating myself up for not recognizing the problem earlier and allowing the situation to become much worse.  This is typical victim mentality.

It is completely normal to feel helpless in some circumstances of our lives and careers, e.g. when you didn’t get the promotion you thought was rightfully yours.  The secret is not to linger in this victim mentality and to become aware enough to move your vibration to a level that better serves you.  

2. Anger can be a motivator

I was angry that the rats had invaded my space.  When the exterminator inspected my house for evidence of rodents (thankfully the rats stayed outside), he pointed out that it probably wasn’t the best idea to leave bags of dog food at the entrance to my basement.  I immediately got a plastic container and transferred the kibbles.  The exterminator responded by saying, “No one ever listens to my advice that quickly.” I replied, “Anger can be a great motivator.” 

While I do not get angry easily, especially at work, anger is a normal response to stressful events, such as an unexpected performance review.  Venting helps to let go and get to a place of taking control of your emotions, which ultimately lets you tap into higher vibrations of energy.  

 

3. Read the signs

I was completely oblivious to signs along the way.  My dog, who is part hound, part yellow labrador retriever, part house alarm, has been digging holes in various areas of the yard and was frantically pulling me in their direction. Meanwhile, I thought that they were chipmunk holes.  

Similarly, in our careers there are usually signs that indicate bigger events are about to take place, such as layoffs, mergers or re-organizations.  Tune in to that intuition of yours, and don’t ignore the signs. You will be better prepared for what is about to happen so you can take control of your destiny.

4. Embrace any situation as a learning opportunity

My immediate reaction to the rat family sighting was to go into research mode.  I Googled rats, their behaviors, the way they live, etc.  I learned more about rats in the past week, than I ever wanted to know.  Although the images I saw were repulsive to me, the facts I learned were fascinating and I was able to gain an appreciation for how smart and organized rats are.  Here is a fun fact I learned – rats are neophobes, they are afraid of change and new situations.  Who cannot relate to that?

Shifting into learning mode empowered me.  I have frequently used this skill to wrap my head around dynamics in the workplace, and it has even helped me in conducting competitive intelligence and market research.  The more you know about the motivators of others, the more you control your course of action. 

5.Engage an expert when reaching limitations

While a close friend was trying to be supportive and Googled natural ways of getting rid of rats (peppermint oil and having an owl), I did not hesitate to get an exterminator right away.  Yes, it is quite expensive to rid yourself of rodents, but I needed an efficient and effective solution, and was willing to pay any price for it, especially after I learned that rats can procreate every three weeks (see lesson 4).

I know my abilities and I know that there are many things I can do myself.  For instance, I was working on creating my new coaching website for quite some time and could certainly pull it off myself.  But, when you get to a point that you want results quickly and efficiently, I recommend hiring an expert.  With regard to my website, I found a fantastic service on Fiverr (check out Zionike if you need a web page) and I’m happy to announce, that I will be able to launch it in November

6.Move on

I spent so much time and energy thinking and talking about this rat experience, which brought out all kinds of thoughts and feelings in me.  I spoke to my friends and family on the phone, and eventually I started seeing the humor in this.  In finishing this article, I am releasing any residual catabolic, non-serving energies and am moving on to bigger and better things!

In letting go, I am able to re-focus on launching my business as a career coach and blogger (Belladonna Career Coach).  Stay tuned, you will be hearing much more about my new endeavor shortly.

In the meantime, I hope you had some comic relieve from my rat story and can take away how to turn even the most unpleasant experiences into learning opportunities.

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Take a break!

Take a break!

It is a rainy fall day in New England after a Holiday. I have a long list of things I “should” be doing, but I am feeling melancholic and lacking my usual drive and ambition to check those things off my list.
So instead of pushing myself to get satisfaction from that sense of accomplishment, I choose to allow myself to take a break!
Breaks are important for our physical and mental well-being. When was the last time you allowed yourself to take a break?

If you feel that you would benefit from one-on-one coaching to find your optimal work/life balance contact me.

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Phoenix Rising

Phoenix Rising

I just finished a trip around the sun! I feel excited, in alignment with my journey and re-born like the Phoenix rising from the ashes. I came across this quote from one of my favorite philosophers that further proves my sentiments:
“Ready must thou be to burn thyself in thine own flame; how couldst thou become new if thou have not first become ashes!” — Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

If you feel unaligned with your purpose and believe you could find it through one-on-one coaching with me, please contact me.

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Stupid

Stupid

The Inner Critic rearing its ugly head.

“I am so stupid!” is a phrase that I heard repeatedly throughout the day from close friends and clients. It came up so much that I was wondering why, because I can assure you that none of the individuals I spoke to is stupid by any stretch of the imagination.

The statement couldn’t have been further from the truth! The people I am referring to are very capable, intelligent and creative. So where is this self-doubt, second-guessing, and harsh judgment coming from?

It comes from inner blocks, which are deeply-seeded beliefs and far from self-serving.

Everything you say to yourself matters. My advice: Re-write your story with thoughts that serve and support you!

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The gift of time!

The gift of time!

A year ago my mother sent me a card with a beautiful poem by Elli Michler regarding the gift of time (see below). It couldn’t have been more timely, pun intended, as my mother’s wish for me for more quality time was granted immediately!

I finally had the space to reflect upon my passion and purpose and believe to have found it. #belladonnacareercoach.  If you feel like time is slipping away and you are wasting it, consider one-on-one coaching and contact me.

“I don’t wish you all sort of gifts.
I just wish you what most people don’t have:
I wish you the time to be happy and to laugh
and if you use it wisely, you can make something out of it.
I wish you the time for your actions and reflections,
time not only for yourself, but also to give away to others.
I wish you the time – not to hustle and run
but the time to be content.
I wish you the time – not to simply let it pass
I wish that you have enough time to be amazed and to trust,
and not simply to look at the watch.
I wish you the time to reach for the stars
and the time to grow, to mature
I wish you the time to hope and to love
It makes no sense to postpone this time.
I wish you the time to find yourself
to see happiness in each day and each hour.
I wish you the time also to forgive.
I wish you the time to live.” – Elli Michler (1923-2014)

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Nature vs. Nurture – which one is a greater predictor of our paths in life and careers?

Nature vs. Nurture – which one is a greater predictor of our paths in life and careers?

Did you know that genealogy is the second most popular hobby in the United States behind gardening, and the second most frequently searched topic on the internet behind…well, you can Google that yourself. The television show, “Finding Your Roots” where celebrities trace their ancestry with the help of professional genealogists has gained tremendous popularity along with other similar shows. People are apparently obsessed over of their lineage and ancestors. This led me to wonder – is it really our ancestry that predicts our paths in life or rather our upbringing?

Let’s explore our preoccupation with our family history first. According to the “Genealogy in Time Magazine” there are two major categories of reasons, the practical side of genealogy and the philosophical side of it. Practical reasons include, among others:

  • understanding family letters, records and diaries
  • finding out if you are related to someone famous
  • tracing medical conditions

The philosophical side of genealogy answers questions about the past, present and future:
  • Who am I?
  • Why am I here?
  • What is going to happen to me?

My German mother, who knows that I am interested in history, recently sent me her family records dating as far back as 1835 including birth and death certificates, marriage licenses, baptism records, photos and even World War II letters, almost 200 years of stories!

I have been studying them and their every detail in search of clues, both from a practical and
philosophical perspective. Here is what I found:

1) My ancestors were simple, working-class people. My great-great grandfather was an “Instmann,” which according to Google means “day worker on a farm.” The women in the family were either not working or were in service positions in other households.

2) For a minute I was startled when I saw that marriage certificates recorded the woman’s status as “Jungfrau” (virgin). I thought that was going a little too far, measured of course by today’s standards, however, I realized that it was just another old German term and the literal translation means young woman.

3) My family lived through many historic moments, inclusive of two world wars and the Hitler regime, as evidenced by stamps of the Third Reich with the Swastika on many of the documents.

4) Within the records my mother provided was a letter from one of her uncles during WW II, written to his family from a field hospital. It was about recovering from an injury and sending greetings to his young niece, Hannelorchen (my mom). Unfortunately, he never returned home.

I am grateful for these tidbits of my heritage, and I recognize that many people’s search for family clues lead to a dead end, e.g. if they were adopted and have been unable to access their birth parents to find more information.

There has been an ongoing debate of “nature vs. nurture,” nature describing the genealogical impact on our trades versus nurture referring to the environment in which we are raised. Our DNA may be undeniable and explain our genetic make-up: our race, eye color, or resemblance to our ancestors, but what it does not offer is an explanation of the impact our upbringing has on us.

My non-scientific opinion on the matter is that the values and the lessons we were taught during our childhood and early adulthood play a HUGE factor on our lives and our careers. My mother was a strong role model for me, a hard worker who overcame hunger, poverty and displacement from her home during World War II. My parents were small business owners, and made it their mission to provide for our family so that we would never lack for anything, in hopes that their children would someday exceed their own accomplishments.

I imagine that it is those values that drive my personal and career successes more than my genealogy. The belief that my parents, grandparents and great-great grandparents could overcome world wars, a dictatorship, poverty and hunger, is granting me great strength to tackle anything standing in the way of my success.

To quote Dwayne Johnson, aka “The Rock,” when talking about his young daughter, “She can be anything she wants. She can sit at any table. She can trailblaze a path, while humbly and gratefully recognizing those before her who paved the way.”

So can you! Irrespective of your DNA, go and trailblaze that path for yourself and future generations!

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Turning weaknesses into strengths

Turning weaknesses into strengths

During a recent job interview I was asked one of the most common questions: “What do you consider to be your area of development?” which is a paraphrase for “What is your greatest weakness?”


Ironically my greatest weakness is admitting weakness. For a long time, I was following unwritten rules of how a female executive should behave. Emotions were to be kept in check, no crying, no yelling, no cursing, no failing. Instead I would internalize any frustration or pain I experienced and shed those tears at home in private e.g. when I had to execute major layoffs and witnessed injustice or exclusion.


Today I know that these limiting beliefs no longer serve me. It is okay to be human and to be our authentic self! There is power in allowing space for weakness and vulnerability in the workplace and I now consider it to be one of my greatest strengths!

 

Work with me as your coach to empower you to be your authentic self and turn any perceived weakness into a strength!

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Let it go!

Let it go!

Many of my clients are struggling to let go of experiences from the past.  Instead they are getting into their heads and holding on to agonizing views.

 

Last night I had a dream. I dreamt about letting go of the thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve me, the pain associated with events that hurt my soul, and the memory of people dimming my light. At the end of that dream I saw a flame – it was bright and warm and lit all of those limiting views on fire!

I heard a saying somewhere that courage means giving more power to possibilities than to past experiences. Today I am letting go with a smile on my face and a fire in my belly, and I encourage you to do the same!

 

If you need help getting out of your head and letting go of the thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve you contact me.

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Procrastination

Procrastination

Growing up in Germany, my mother frequently quoted sayings that eluded to the fact that one shouldn’t postpone things to the next day, if they could be completed that same day (i.e. “was Du heute kannst besorgen, das verschiebe nicht auf morgen”), or that only lazy people consider completing tasks the following day (“morgen, morgen nur nicht heute, sagen all die faulen Leute”). As a child, despite my inner resistance to completing unpleasurable responsibilities such as cleaning my room or doing homework, I complied. 

Fast forward a few decades and ironically, I find myself in a position of this article being delayed, despite it having been planned and scheduled for weeks, showing that procrastination happens to most of us in some shape or form. 

It was that certain level of discipline my mother instilled in me that kept me focused and hardly ever let me miss a deadline, until a few years ago when I took on a demanding, executive-level role. I had too many “balls in the air” to juggle without dropping one occasionally. Still very much dedicated to not only meeting the targets but turning in a project that was presentable to the senior leadership team, I came to the realization that my expectations of completing timely deliverables at near-perfection-level quality were probably not reasonable. Something difficult to admit.

My manager at the time used the expression “if you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute”, which I now know to be part of Parkinson’s law.  First appearing in The Economist in 1955, Cyril Northcote Parkinson wrote an article stating that “work expands to fill the time available for its completion.” The theory behind this is that we will use as much time as is given to us for the completion of a task, allowing for procrastination.

Often times knowingly seeking a distraction and delaying a certain assignment will leave us with feelings of guilt, anxiety or stress further debilitating our productivity. So, what can we do to pull ourselves out of this downward spiral of draining energy and get things done? 

How about shifting our perspectives? When we feel like we have no- or a limited choice in the matter, we are naturally inclined to fight the task or project ahead of us. No one likes to be told what to do and how to do it. However, when we are able to pivot in our thinking and choose to imagine that we have control over what that outcome looks like and focus on how satisfied we will feel once said task is accomplished, we no longer believe we are a victim of circumstances. 

I speak of experience. I feel so much better, now that I completed this article and hope that your take-away from reading this is that we always have choices in how we are looking at matters and that there is a great sense of satisfaction in getting things done. Don’t wait until the last minute!

Procrastination is one of the most commonly discussed topics during my coaching sessions.  If you feel that being held accountable by a career coach could help you overcome waiting until the last minute contact me.

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Changing Perspectives

Changing Perspective

How quickly perspectives can change. I recently applied for a position via e-mail and I thought to myself “how odd and outdated of a process is this?” Yes, I realize I was being judgmental.

This week I bought a brand-new MacBook Pro to build my future business as a career coach and blogger. During the set-up all of my documents were lost (I can see you cringing and perhaps judging?).

Today I intended to apply for another position and guess what? My resume was among the lost files. Then I remembered that the e-mail application I had previously poo-poohed on was still accessible and I was able to retrieve my resume from it! Instead of being judgmental I became thankful.

Day saved, lesson learned. Don’t be so quick to judge! And back-up your files!

 

This story is a prime example of reframing of the mind and choosing a perspective that better serves us.  If you are interested in learning more about how you might be able to benefit from one-on-one coaching with me, contact me today.

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3 productive strategies to deal with rejection in your careers

3 productive strategies to deal with rejection in your careers

The current COVID-19 pandemic has left millions of people unemployed with a bleak outlook for their futures and careers. This applies across most generations, levels of experience, and education.

Regardless of the status of your employment right this moment, chances are that at one point along the way, you were rejected by a college, company, or institution of your dreams. The question is, how did you choose to respond to the rejection? 

Some approaches are more constructive than others and burying your head in the proverbial sand isn’t one of them. Here are three productive strategies I have observed on how best to deal with rejection, listed in order of the least to the most level of success I believe they promise:

A)  Challenging the decision

B)  Up-skilling

C)  Moving on

A) Challenging the decision

A French artist, and personal friend whom I admire, persevered in obtaining acceptance into Sorbonne University after initially being rejected by challenging the decision. For those who are not familiar with “the Sorbonne,” it’s an elite school in Paris, equal in status to some of the Ivy League colleges in the United States.

She was already quite accomplished when she applied: she held a master’s degree in art, had her own studio in Paris, and exhibited in galleries all over the world. She is not, however, the type to rest on her laurels, so she applied in order to pursue a second master’s degree.

Being faced with that initial rejection did not sit well with her. One night she decided to share her frustration in a long note addressed to a generic e-mail account at the university.  She argued that it did not make sense to refuse her on the merits of lacking experience in contemporary art when that was exactly the experience she was seeking to gain in the program. (Think: being rejected at a French-language school for not knowing French.) She must have struck a chord with the director of admissions because he appealed to the admissions committee on her behalf. The initial decision was revoked and a couple of years later, she received her second master’s degree from the Sorbonne.

In this particular scenario, the artist’s tenacity paid off because she had the qualifications to back it off, but in my experience challenging the decision seldom works. 

B) Up-skilling

A former direct report of mine and a long-term member of the organization desired a promotion within the company. When he saw an internal posting for a senior-level management position, he “put his name in the hat.” He was rejected. 

This team member had a technical background and lacked the broad educational background that the position required. The candidate ultimately chosen for the role had that business education, which gave him the upper leg. To prevent this from happening again, my direct report signed up for an M.B.A. program. His improved business skills were recognized by superiors, and within a year he was promoted to a director level. 

Up-skilling is always a good response to rejection. Another “feather in your cap” can differentiate you from others, and increase your chances of getting a resounding “yes” the next time you seek that next-level position.

C) Moving on

Several years ago, I applied for a job that was considered highly desirable in the industry. After my first interview, I was instantaneously invited to come to the headquarters of the organization. Later that day, the hiring manager called and provided very enthusiastic feedback to my meetings with several stakeholders. He even encouraged me to look at real estate in the area right away. On top of that, I received a bouquet of flowers from the recruiter, thanking me for my flexibility in making myself available on short notice. Who here has ever received flowers during their “courtship” with a company? I felt certain, that an offer was forthcoming, but then the company “ghosted” me. I was rejected and didn’t get the benefit of any insight.

Although I felt disappointed at first, I moved on immediately, and the next company I pursued offered me an executive position that was tailor-made for me.

When moving on instead of dwelling on the reasons why you were rejected or getting into a downward spiral of self-doubt, you demonstrate resilience and an optimistic outlook that there are more suitable opportunities ahead. 

So, what is the take-away? You always have options on how to respond to rejection.  Adjust your mindset.  What if rejection just means re-direction? Could it be a sign that you are pursuing the wrong path? Or you are looking at the right opportunity, but you are just not ready for it, yet? Next time you are hearing “NO”, take a step back and consider it an opportunity to re-engage, re-evaluate or re-direct. 

If you feel that coaching could help you increase your level of perseverance, contact me!

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Profanity In The WorkPlace

Profanity In The WorkPlace

Trust me, I am by no means holier than thou, nor am I easily offended by profanity. I believe in freedom of speech and I am capable of tolerating a wide range of language used in the workplace from direct reports, peers and even superiors, be it expressions of frustration, hurt or anger.

In the daily news we are witnessing world leaders using offensive, childish rhetoric and divisive language to demonstrate their power and presumed superiority, inclusive of name-calling of opponents.

My expertise does not lie in politics, but rather in the corporate world and its upper levels of management, and I’m considered an expert in communication, training and adult learning. So I was wondering, in times of increased sensitivity to what people consider offensive, how do we deal with inappropriate language in the workplace, especially when it comes straight from the top?

Many years ago, I was working in a company whose CEO dropped the f-bomb in every other sentence. Those are a lot of swearwords at the highest level of the organization. How did he manage the interview process and persuade the board of directors that he was the best person to lead that business? The only logical answer I could come up with was that an inclusive corporate culture was not high on the priority list.

If you are currently working for a medium to large organization, chances are that you are undergoing annual sensitivity training presented by Human Resources and intended to minimize the company’s legal exposure and liability. It may include guidance and words of caution related to racial slurs, religion, sexual orientation, etc.

Where did things go wrong along the way that adults need to be told right from wrong?

Growing up in Germany, offensive words were not part of my family’s vocabulary. My mother’s generation was still keen on threatening to wash our mouths out with soap. These days I observe parents when they have the occasional “slip of the tongue” in front of their children, and ask them to put on the proverbial “ear muffs” or immediately correct themselves and tell those impressionable little humans to do as they say, not as they do.

I consider myself an aficionado of languages. The power of words, when used correctly, is endless; the nuances and subtleties one can express are infinite. The words of a leader should be empowering, uplifting and elevating. I speak English, German and French, and while I might be able to curse like a sailor in three languages, I choose not to. I have too much respect for my co- workers and subordinates. And as a role model, I prefer for my teams to do as I DO, and as I say.

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Building trust in the workspace

Building trust in the workspace

Image courtesy of "The Jungle Book, Walt Disney Productions"

When I think of trust, I always visualize the scene from The Jungle Book where the snake Kaa roles his hypnotic eyes and entices Mowgli, “Trust in me!” There is so much symbolism in that scene. Serpents are believed to be representations of poison, vengefulness and vindictiveness – the exact opposite of trust. 

This made me wonder: How do you build trust in the workplace, and is it automatically granted or earned? To trust, or not to trust: that is the question.

I came across this graphic portraying trust and its building blocks, and while I don’t know its origin, the boxes illustrate the components of trust. 

Most of us have probably found ourselves in situations where we were faced with a new manager or, on the flip side, entrusted with the leadership of a new team. All of a sudden, you are working with people you don’t know, yet your common success depends on each other.

But, what if in your mind that new manager does not check off all of those boxes of trust as depicted above and you have to make it work to survive and keep that paycheck, or, on the other hand, you feel as if you are checking off all of the boxes, believe that you are completely trustworthy and yet some people on your team have their own agenda and will fight working with you tooth and nail? I have been on both sides of the spectrum.  

Here are two scenarios I have experienced:

Scenario 1 – You are appointed a new manager

Reorganizations are common these days, especially in large organizations where leadership is constantly looking for efficiencies. I did the math, and over the course of 25 years in the corporate world, I counted 16 different managers. That’s an average of just over six months with any given manager, and meant a lot of trust-building.

It’s one thing to interview with your future boss and determine your level of trust in them, but when they are appointed to their position, you really don’t have a choice in the matter and can only hope for the best. Perhaps you conduct some research via Google, LinkedIn and your professional network for intel on that person’s expertise, style and reputation. After all, if they are now your superior, you want them to have the competence to lead, the character to care, and the objectivity to treat team members fairly. 

At that first introductory meeting, you observe their demeanor, and during your first one-on-one, you pretty much decide if you can trust him or her. Future interactions will reinforce your intuition. Now, what if you decide that he or she is not your cup of tea? What if something makes you uneasy about working with this person, and you do not trust that they have your best interest at heart?  Perhaps they do not recognize your past contributions or appreciate your personality. If you are feeling it, your manager is likely feeling it as well. And if you are lucky, they will initiate a conversation with you to address this and resolve it collaboratively. 

Many years ago, I was not so lucky. I was once appointed a new supervisor who didn’t trust me and questioned my allegiance to him based on his dislike of my previous boss. He led me to believe that my quality of work wouldn’t measure up to his standards. He demoted me and insisted that I call myself an “associate manager.” Although I complied, I was eventually able to turn the situation around through hard work and proved my value in order to gain my new supervisor’s trust. Within three months I was re-established as a manager and received a salary increase. 

While the scenario I described had a positive outcome, in my experience, these situations are often a “no-win” and bound to derail. Your superior has the upper hand, so you must decide to either stick it out until you’re able to sway opinions, or find a position where you can “interview” your next boss and establish that mutual trust…until the next reorg. 

Scenario 2 – You are entrusted with the leadership of a new team

In this scenario, the roles are reversed, but the dynamics are very similar. As the leader of a team, you have the advantage of getting insights from your leader and the HR department. They will likely share their impressions and previous performance reviews of your new team members, and point out any red flags. 

I once inherited an underperforming marketing department, and when my manager briefed me on the individual and team dynamics he basically wished me “good luck”. My position had been open for over a year, and everyone on the team had either interviewed for it or thought they had the qualifications to do my job. I had been hired to turn this group into a high-performance team, but I was not exactly welcomed with open arms.

Fast forward about a year, most of the team was turned over. I got to start with a clean slate, and hire and develop people who were ambitious, engaged, and fit the team culture. With the help of a professional coach, I built that high-performance team by including the team members in creating a vision, mission and norms. This is how we fostered trust in each other and succeeded as a team.

I later replicated this process at other organizations with teams of up to 65 people. It requires time, patience, and a lot of heavy lifting, but it is very rewarding to observe how much you can achieve when you trust your team, and they trust you.

Back to the question of whether trust is earned or given. Opinions are actually divided over this, and I don’t think that there is a right or a wrong answer. Synonyms for trust are belief and faith. By definition, trust is an intangible and while the complex flow chart above may capture its major components, the truth is that trusting someone comes down to our own feelings.  

So if you find yourself in the situation of having a new manager, or leading a new team, trust your instincts first and foremost. Unlike the snake Kaa, coercing Mowgli to trust him, I encourage you to give that new leader or team a chance, by having an open mind and asking the question of each other “why should I trust you?” and collaboratively go from there. Good luck!

If you want to work with me as your career coach and discover how to build trust with a new team or a new manager contact me.

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When life gives you lemons: Turning times of transition into opportunities of a lifetime

When life gives you lemons: Turning times of transition into opportunities of a lifetime

Many of us are finding ourselves in a period of transition right now due to COVID-19’ effects on the economy. And while companies are slowly beginning to rehire, this transition might turn into an extended, unintended sabbatical. Keeping a positive mindset and making the most out of this downtime, might be the key to landing that next job with confidence, and learn a new skill or two.

Going through a period of transition myself right now, I reflected upon the last time I was in a similar situation; when life gave me lemons and I turned it into the best lemonade of my life!

When I last lost my job six years ago, I realized that I was given the gift of time. I finally had the opportunity to do what I had always dreamed of…living in Paris!  So I packed my suitcases, left on my journey, and while I fine-tuned my third language, learned a lot about French history, architecture, art, literature and culture. I learned even more about myself.

I realize that not everyone can just clear their schedule for three months to hop on a plane to Paris, especially now when leisure travel is on hold, but there are things anyone who is going through a transition can do, when given the gift of time:

1.   Invest in yourself

Renting an apartment in Paris, paying for private French lessons, taking a few excursions and the cost of living were not inexpensive. I invested financial resources and three months of my time, but the truth is that you do not have to spend any money at all to improve your skills and marketability. There are countless free online classes on any subject you can dream of that will broaden your skillset and increase your value.

2.   Learn a new skill

If you are not learning, you are not evolving. Find something you are fascinated with and study as much about it as you can. For me, this was improving my French, and even though this did not directly land me my next job, the experience was that of a lifetime and it gave me a huge sense of accomplishment, which translates into confidence while interviewing.

3.   The best learning takes place outside of a classroom

My French school,  “La Leçon de français”  had a unique, interactive approach to teaching. The city of Paris was my classroom. Twice a
day, I would hop on the métro to meet one of my ten tutors at museums, parks and cafés scattered across the city. Whatever it is that you are learning, make sure it is interactive and actively partake in your learning experience.

4.    Be bold!

I was on my own in Paris, and navigated all parts of the city alone. I discovered quiet neighborhoods, antique shops and all sorts of little treasures off the beaten path that I would never have found otherwise. Theodore Roosevelt said that nothing worth having comes easy. You have to go after what you truly desire in life and in your career.

5.   Stop and smell the roses (or the croissants)

The longer I was there, the more I truly felt the heartbeat of Paris every moment. I was present. During my downtime, I would take long walks in parks or along the River Seine, enjoy a café-au-lait with a croissant, and just observe the world passing by. This experience awakened all my senses. I felt alive and happy! Work/Life balance is so important, and you need to take time to enjoy what life has to offer. Have your croissant, and eat it, too!

6.   Do not wait!

Living in Paris for three months was a game-changer for me. Whatever that dream is for you, get going! It might put your life on a totally different trajectory. Don’t find excuses and don’t feel guilty. Life is happening now, and as this pandemic has illustrated, tomorrow is not a guarantee. Realizing your dreams is part of your life’s purpose.

7.   Share your experience

Enthusiasm is contagious, and others are going to want to learn from your experience and join you on this journey. I posted hundreds of photos via social media and blogged my lessons and impressions. Check it out
at https://angelathefrenchlesson.blogspot.com/. It makes for great storytelling, another skill that you will need to practice for that next interview.

And now that I have been handed a new bag of lemons once again, I am grateful for the opportunity to make a delicious and unique lemonade of a different kind:  I am studying how to become a professional blogger, a Youtuber, and an executive coach. Soon you will be getting a taste of it, as I start sharing my experience of 25 years in the corporate world, helping others find their paths and fulfill their career dreams. Cheers!

If you are going through a period of transition and believe that you could benefit from one-on-one coaching contact me.

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Ageism in Corporate America – Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

Ageism in Corporate America - Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

Leave it to our mothers, to point out the obvious. When I recently informed my mom that I had been laid off, she gasped. I know she was trying to control her reaction, but she could not help pointing out that I wasn’t 30-years-old anymore, suggesting that finding a new, equal job as a female executive in her fifties, might be a challenge. This prompted me to dig a little deeper into the subject of ageism in Corporate America.

The Age Discrimination and Employment Act (ADEA) was passed in 1967, protecting individuals 40 years and older from discrimination in the workspace in hiring, promotions, wages, terminations and layoffs.

This raises the question – if the ADEA has been in effect for more than 50 years, why do we still have an issue with age discrimination? There have been various recent studies, publications and even movies on the subject.

The U.S. Equal Employment and Opportunity Commission (EEOC) published a special report in 2018 concluding “age discrimination remains a significant and costly problem for workers, their families and our economy.”

That same year, the American Association of Retired Persons commonly knows as the AARP, conducted a survey among their members, finding that :

  • Nearly 1 in 4 workers age 45 and older have been subjected to negative comments about their age from supervisors or coworkers
  • About 3 in 5 older workers have seen or experienced age discrimination in the workplace
  • 76 percent of these older workers see age discrimination as a hurdle to finding a new job; another report found that more than half of these older workers are prematurely pushed out of longtime jobs and 90 percent of them never earn as much again

I came across an article from the Undercover Recruiter comparing the differences in education, skills and attitude between generations X, Y, and Z. They concluded that 70% of businesses and recruiters believe that generation X workers (born between 1966 and 1977) are the best workers overall. 

While ageism is no laughing matter, Hollywood addressed the topic in the 2015 Comedy “The Intern.” Robert De Niro plays a 70-year-old intern (!) for an online fashion site serving under a young, female CEO played by Ann Hathaway. Stereotypical thoughts regarding age are being addressed throughout this entertaining movie with the promotional tagline “Experience never gets old”.

Still, there are common trepidations about the older workforce when it comes to aptitude (can an old dog learn new tricks?) and attitude (does an old dog want to learn new tricks?). Many people believe that older employees are set in their ways and that they cannot keep up with current technologies. I have spent a lot of my career focusing on adult learning principles and creating curricula for adult learners. Clearly, older learners can pick up new skills as long as the learning modalities accommodate their needs.

Also, there is a major difference between our chronological age (number of years a person has been alive) vs. our biological age (how old a person seems).  “50 is the new 40,” right? It is no longer unusual to live an active lifestyle at any age. For example, this year I competed in “The Battle of The Ages,” a fitness competition with teams of four athletes, one each in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s, proving that you can compete at any age and that there is power in teaming up people from different generations as they each contribute different strengths to the game.

The movement against Ageism has yet to find its voice and lags behind other recent anti-discriminatory movements in the workforce like “Me too,” the ruling by the Supreme Court to protect the LGBT community and antiracism that have recently taken center stage.

Corporations and people managers will have to adapt and learn a new trick: Mixing teams with members of all ages and recognizing what each generation brings to the table. The key is to leverage the differences in each generation, their values and motivations. Having a perspective of four or even five different generations should make for a well-rounded end result and create a strong competitive advantage.

As far as this “old dog” is concerned, I intend to prove everyone wrong who still believes that old dogs cannot learn new tricks. I just enrolled in the iPEC Certification Program for Executive Coaching. Soon I will be teaching other dogs (figuratively speaking, of course) of all ages new tricks to advance their careers. It is time to embrace getting older, for it is a privilege not granted to everyone. And with that privilege, come immeasurable insights and valuable contributions.

If you feel like you could learn a few new tricks, contact me about one-on-one coaching.

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The secret sauce to climbing the corporate ladder

The secret sauce to climbing the corporate ladder

12 lessons I have learned on how to get ahead

Ambition is defined as “a strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work”, or as I would call it – the delusion that hard work and determination are all that it takes to get ahead. I speak from experience.

Early in my career as a young, ambitious marketer in a rapidly growing company, I observed people around me being promoted left and right. Jealousy arose. After all, I was a hard worker and certainly determined. How come others got ahead and I did not?

The truth is, I was inexperienced, immature, and naïve, and I had no clue about the many variables and considerations that go into someone’s promotion.   I wish I had known 20 years ago what I am about to share with you.

The secret sauce to climbing the corporate ladder: 

 

1. Become aware of blind spots

It all starts with self-awareness. Know your strengths and your weaknesses, and how others perceive you. Check if your organization offers a 180- degree feedback report. It provides you with insights from superiors, your manager, direct reports and peers, and uncovers any blind spots you have and need to address.

2. Align with your manager

While your manager is not the only person deciding on your advancement in the organization, he or she is going to be your biggest ally.  Both of you have to be on the same page regarding expectations, opportunities within and outside the department, and timing to get you there.

3. Promotions are not decided unilaterally

It is a common misnomer to think that your manager has 100% control over your destiny.  Bigger organizations have an annual talent review where teams are mapped on a grid. During the talent review, your manager, his/her peers, their manager, and HR will discuss who is the most likely to move up, based on contributions, motivation, behavior, and potential. 

4. Create a development plan

Figure out what skill gaps (hard and soft) you might have and come up with a plan to fill them. Utilize the 70/20/10 formula; meaning 70 % of your plan consists of on-the-job learning in your current role, 20% through coaching and mentoring, and 10% through formal learning such as courses, self-study, etc. Ask HR what development programs the company might have available and create your own plan. Focus on no more than 3 goals, one in each category.  

5. It is a business case

Spoiler alert: Doing an outstanding job in your current role does not automatically get you promoted. You need to understand the metrics that determine success, because your manager will have to present a business case of why you should be promoted that demonstrates how you contribute added value. In the Sales world this is simple: Beating your quota. In other functions, it could be that the scope of your job is expanded or you are taking on direct reports. Ask your manager what business case he or she is required to present and how you can support it.

6. Build relationships

Consistent, positive feedback from internal and external customers is important. You want to be seen as a resource who adds value, finds solutions, and supports others at ALL LEVELS.  Organizational savvy as well as political agility are going to be crucial. This will demonstrate your level of emotional intelligence and the ability to maneuver stormy waters. 

7. Form follows function

You may desire the word “Senior” in your title, but titles are not created around the desires of individuals. Especially large organizations involve HR in the leveling of positions. This means that titles are derived after reviewing the job description and the requirements for the job, such as years of experience, education, and hard and soft skills. There has to be a need and/or precedence for a certain role or title to be created.

8. Promotions are typically cyclical in nature

Many organizations will allow promotions only once a year and usually tie-in to the annual performance review. It is unusual to be promoted outside of this cycle. Mid-year promotions require a lot more justification. There might be other circumstances, such as reorganization, resulting in opportunities for a promotion outside of the annual review cycle.  

9. Don’t be the only one tooting your horn

Find a sponsor. A sponsor is someone who will talk positively about you on your behalf and highlight your contributions and your progressive development at higher levels in management. This could be a peer of your manager, who carries respect within the organization, but before you engage a sponsor inform your manager so that he or she is not blind sighted.

10. Do not compare yourself to others

There is a sting when someone you consider is less deserving, gets ahead before you do. The resentment of someone else’s success is only going to hold you back. My advice, regardless of whether YOU think they earned it or not, be gracious. Extend your well wishes and ask what you can do to support them. Remember, “There is no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it is their time” (author unknown). 

11. Changes in management cause disruption

I have heard many times that someone was promised to be promoted by his or her previous manager, who left the organization prior to any promotion. Guess what, if you have a new manager, you will likely have to start from scratch. Now, if you are as good as you think you are, your new manager will figure this out fairly quickly. Unfortunately, this dynamic also applies to changes within the senior leadership of the organization. It is really hard to gain traction and recognition when the organization has other priorities than focusing on team development and talent retention. 

12. Check your ego at the door

Tantrums and stomping your feet out of frustration, shedding tears, or demanding to be promoted will not get you there.  Trust me, I tried! It just shows that you are immature. I once walked out on a job because I could not get to the next level. But that was before I discovered the “secret sauce”.

So, to all of you ambitious go-getters out there, I hope that my insights help take the myth out of promotions. Working hard and hoping that you will magically be tapped on the shoulder is not a strategy, but taking control of the variables that you can control, is! 

Coaching can accelerate your career trajectory.  Contact me, if you would like to explore one-on-one career coaching with me.  

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A hairy question – can your hairstyle advance or hinder your career?

A hairy question - can your hairstyle advance or hinder your career

I recently asked my friends and family for their opinion via social media on whether I should color my hair GRAY. I had no idea this question would cause such a stir. The responses were emotional and divisive: Some said it would age me and diminish my work prospects; others said it would highlight my wisdom and experience. So the strong reactions begged the question for me, what role does a certain hairstyle play in the business world? Can it in fact advance or hinder
your career?

You might think that this is a rather trivial topic when we are still in the midst of a global pandemic and experiencing social unrest. However, I am confident that I can speak for the majority of women in the workforce when I say that we have thought about this on more than one occasion. A quick Google search will give you an abundance of articles about what is considered a professional hairstyle for women.

Throughout my career, I held positions that were fairly public in nature with many customer interactions and later also included public speaking engagements. I have always been self- conscious about my appearance and the image I portray, erring on the side of being cautious, classic, perhaps even conservative.

For many years it was ingrained in me that straight hair equals professionalism and curly hair does not. The root of that perception, pun intended, might be traced back to business school when classmates made fun of me for my curly hair in the graduation album. It wasn’t until a few years ago, that I actually started to embrace and “own” that curly look.


I admit, however, I recently had a setback. I had a video interview with the president of a company and thought there was too much at stake to go “au naturel”. While I spent time straightening my hair prior to the interview to match my view of “professional”, the president of said company, who was working from home due to COVID-19, made his appearance in a Captain America T-shirt!

Why do women put themselves under so much pressure when it comes to their hairstyles at work? (Sorry, guys, I cannot speak for you here, but ask your wives, girlfriends or daughters if they can relate). It is out of fear. Fear of not being accepted for who we are. Fear of not being enough. Fear of being labeled unprofessional. Fear of being considered too old.

So, back to my original question… should I go gray? Guess what? While people may have strong opinions, either way, it doesn’t matter what they think. The only opinion that matters is mine and how I feel about myself! Ladies, only you can be you! Be authentic and have confidence in your choices, even if they are as trivial as your hairstyle!

If you have your own assumptions about what determines success, or engrained beliefs that are preventing you from moving forward and you think you would benefit from coaching please contact me.

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Finding inspiration in times of uncertainty

Finding inspiration in times of uncertainty

Image courtesy of "Oh, the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss, Random House, New York"

Upon graduation from the Center of Creative Leadership course, a peer attendee gave me a copy of Dr. Seuss’ book with a personal notation that it had always been a source of inspiration for him. 

A children’s book, one might ask? 

I grew up in Germany with different types of children’s books. Have you ever read the Heinrich Hoffmann story entitled “Struwwelpeter”? Hoffmann was a German psychiatrist and his rhymes about the misbehavior of children usually ended in their deaths!

Dr. Seuss’ style on the other hand is that of inspiration, encouragement and recognition of ones’ unique gifts. Many of us have been thrown for a loop in our careers and in life, especially now during the COVID-19 pandemic. The unemployment rate in the US is higher than it was during the Great Depression.  

So how do you find inspiration during this time of uncertainty?

My inspiration comes from within. I have utilized this time for much introspection and found peace by practicing presence in everything I do.  There are so many great, complimentary resources out there to help you expand your horizons—resources that can help you start doing the things you always wanted to do, but never had time for. As an example, I highly recommend this thirty-day yoga journey: https://youtu.be/–jhKVdZOJM

There is a passage in that Dr. Seuss book given to me that refers to people just waiting . . .  for the phone to ring, for their hair to grow, for a yes or a no. If you are like me, currently in the market for a new career opportunity, don’t wait, get inspired! There are no excuses to put your life or your career on hold. Pick up the phone, and call that recruiter! Reach out to your network and expand it! Learn a new skill! Tend to your health, physically, mentally and spiritually and know that this too shall pass.

To quote Dr. Seuss: “Kid, you’ll move mountains! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So, get on your way!”

If you need help moving your mountain and want to work with me as your career coach, contact me.

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