Failing or nailing a job interview – six lessons I learned of what not to do

My very first job interview was an epic failure, a textbook example of what NOT to do. I was in my early twenties and living in Germany. I was interviewing for my dream job to become a flight attendant. What went wrong with the interview? Everything that possibly could! When this happened, I did not have the level of self-awareness to realize it was a complete disaster. I’m going to share with you what transpired so you can avoid the mistakes I made and nail every job interview you have.

Lesson # 1 – Don’t Be Late

A no-brainer you might think. I took the recommended flight suggested by the airline that I was interviewing with. I thought “surely, they know best,” and “delays never happen”, right? Wrong. I showed up to the interview more than two hours late and had missed the first part, which was a group discussion. The purpose of the discussion was to demonstrate one’s level of being able to engage in conversations and overall conversation skills. I missed out on the opportunity and knew I had made a bad first impression.

If a flight attendant is late to the airport the schedule gets thrown off and delays happen, making people late for whatever they are heading to their destination to do! Even if you are not the one scheduling travel for your interview, you want to be sure that you take all possible issues into account, so that you can avoid being late.

Lesson # 2 – The Interview Process is not a Competition

Yes, when you are interviewing for a job you are competing with others to get the position. This lesson is about the interview process. Since there were many people going through this process together, all of the candidates were able to watch each other work. Let me share the details with you.

The second part of the interview was a written test. We were asked to write several essays in various languages. Remember, I am from Germany, so German is my native language. I had to write about my year in France as an Au-pair in English and then I had to write about my six-week vacation to the United States in French. If you speak foreign languages, you understand that this can really mess with your brain and is quite the challenge.

I was done with my essays long before everyone else with full confidence in my abilities to shine, however, I failed to realize that this was not a competition of who finished first.

On a side note, I also remember writing in my essay that I would NEVER consider living in the United States because of the large social gap between the rich and the poor. Who has egg on their face now after calling the United States my home for the past 25 years?

Lesson # 3 – It is Not About Being Right

The next part of the process was the individual interviews that took place with various stakeholders. This airline had a reputation for hiring people that were submissive. I clearly did not fit that mold and proved it! When they asked me how I would rate the service on my flight to the interview (50 minutes on a normal day that turned into more than two hours), I shared my observation that the flight crew was largely absent in the cabin after they completed the short service. While this observation may have been accurate, it probably did not speak well for me that I criticized the level of service provided by the airline I wanted to work for.

I gave them the answer to the question that they asked, but it wasn’t what they wanted to hear. Although it isn’t about being right, in hindsight this actually made it clear to me that I was not the right fit for the job with this company. Remember, they are interviewing you as much as you are interviewing them. No one wants to work somewhere when there is such misalignment in values and beliefs.

Lesson # 4 – Don’t Be Ignorant

When I was asked if I had applied with any of the competitors, I responded that I thought that this airline was the only one training flight attendants. Clearly, I was showing my level of ignorance about the industry as a whole.

If you get invited to an interview do your research on the industry, the company, its competitors, and the people who are going to be on the interview committee. Ignorance is certainly grounds for immediate dismissal of a candidate and that is something that can be easily avoided when you do your research.

Lesson # 5 – Don’t Assume You are The Perfect Candidate

During this time, the requirements for becoming a flight attendant were quite strict and in today’s world would be considered discriminatory. The hiring age range was 18-27 and there were height and weight requirements in addition to other previous, relevant work experience and ability to speak foreign languages. Yes, there was a physical weigh-in and measurement of one’s height. While on paper I certainly thought that I was the “perfect fit” for the job, this airline did not see the match and sent me a letter of decline. We can’t get into the heads of the interview committee to see exactly what they are looking for. We can make some assumptions, but that doesn’t mean what you think is the perfect candidate is the same as what they think.

Lesson # 6 – Don’t Argue with the Outcome

“No, you didn’t” is what is probably going through your head right now reading the headline of this lesson. Yes, I did. In my early twenties, I saw the world through a very black-and-white, right-or-wrong lens, and thought that the rejection must have been a mistake and not my fault at all. After all, THEY put me on a flight that was delayed, THEY clearly did not see all of the assets I brought to the table, and THEY were wrong about not hiring me. I wrote a letter to the airline, sharing my sentiments.

Needless to say, the airline did not only stand firm on their decision not to hire me, but I was also banned for life from ever applying again! I did, however, proceed to fulfill my dream of becoming a flight attendant with another airline, and showed up very differently for that interview.

30 years later I look back and laugh about that experience. I have achieved everything in my career that I have set out to do, but I learned some valuable lessons the hard way.

What has changed? I have. My level of self-awareness has increased, my emotional intelligence has grown, and the way I define “success” has transformed. When I have a job interview now, I am no longer attached to the outcome. Meaning that getting the job is not the ultimate goal. I look at it more as a learning opportunity and process of self-exploration.

Certainly, I will give it my best shot by showing up to an interview fully present, prepared and being my authentic self. If there is a common connection, that is great. If there isn’t, I no longer take the outcome personally. Instead of arguing, I show my gratitude for having met my interviewers, having been exposed to great minds and perspectives, and thankful for the opportunity to expand my network.

I am curious: What lessons have you learned from the job interviews for the positions you didn’t get? Please comment and share.