How to become the best version of yourself – Part 1 Defining your “why”

“Old habits die hard” is an idiom dating back a few hundred years, although its origin is not entirely known.  It describes, very poignantly, that humans have difficulty stopping something they have been doing for a long time, even if that behavior is destructive to them.  Pause for just a second and think about this – most people would rather continue to accept their circumstances in a toxic workplace, relationship, or their own self-sabotaging behavior than put in the work to change.  

In this new series, which aligns with the August 2023 challenge to become the best version of yourself and SOAR, I will be laying out a step-by-step guide to help you make changes that will last and help you reach your full potential.  I will uncover what can get in your way and how to deal with setbacks if they arise. You will be well-equipped when you decide to kick an old habit that no longer serves you to the curb.  

Lao Tzu once said, “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”, perfectly capturing that to reach our full potential we must first change our identity.  Our identity consists of every belief we have about ourselves. Our identity is grounded in our values and our purpose, and to change our identity requires us to bring it to our consciousness.  

Ask yourself some questions about the principles that guide you.

• What is your personal North Star? 
• Which of your personality traits has made you succeed in past situations? 
• What are your strengths?
• If you were guaranteed triumph, what would you dare to do?
• What are you passionate about? 
• What activities did you like to do as a kid? 

The answer to these questions might not come easily and will require some deep reflection, which will guide you to what makes you uniquely you.  If you are struggling, ask a close friend or family member what they think your greatest qualities are. This process is called “finding your WHY”, which is also known as your identity.  

Some people believe that making changes is all about discipline and the ability to follow through. The truth is that while discipline is certainly a success factor, knowing your why and establishing an identity that supports you in committing to your goals is what will get you through the tough times and self-sabotaging behavior of falling back into your old habits.  

My why for committing to the August challenge is that mindfulness is one of my core values.  As a professional coach, I know that making changes that last and achieving our highest potential can only come through bringing awareness to our thoughts and patterns, and by raising our level of consciousness so that we make choices that better serve us.  

In my signature coaching program called SOAR (the acronym stands for the four phases of the program SEEK, OUTLINE, AWAKE, and RELEARN), finding your identity is where we start if you want to transform mindfully and with ease so you can SOAR in all areas of your life.  If you are interested in exploring coaching with me, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com. Are you ready to SOAR?