The moral of the parable is that humans tend to claim absolute truth based on their limited, subjective experiences, and they ignore other people’s limited, subjective experiences which may be equally true (source Wikipedia). This happens ALL THE TIME and can easily be the source of arguments or misunderstandings in life and at work. As coaches, we utilize a technique called reframing to identify perspectives that better serve our clients when they choose a perspective that is either limiting or not constructive. 

Once leaders realize that different perspectives are not threatening their position but are simply input that can help them discover the truth in unifying all perspectives, they can utilize the same technique to become more effective in harmonizing their team, making decisions, reducing stress for themselves and others, and in one-on-one meetings with their employees. As it shows in the parable – the fact that each blind man was describing a part of the elephant, while each man was right, they were limited in their views because they had limited perspective.

Here is an easy way to describe how reframing works in three steps:

1. 1. Recognize the negative thought.
   2. Challenge the thought.
   3. Replace the thought with one that is more positive.

Let’s look at some real-life examples of how you might reframe the thoughts of your team members or even your own thoughts as a leader.

Example 1

A team member is disappointed about not receiving a promotion they were fully expecting and internalizes the event as a personal setback. They think they’ll never get ahead and their efforts are not appreciated.

Questions to ask:

• • What might you gain from not being promoted right now? 
  • How can you maximize the time you have gained from not taking on more responsibilities to upskill? 
  • If this happened to your best friend, what advice would you give them?

The point of asking these questions is to offer a more positive perspective to deal with the situation, in hopes that this employee might find a silver lining that will enable them to continue pushing towards their goals. 

Example 2

You received an e-mail from your manager. It is full of exclamation points and sounds demanding to you. You are upset and get frustrated about how you feel treated with disrespect. 

Questions to ask:

• • How true is my interpretation of the meaning of this e-mail?
  • What else is going on (under what circumstances might your manager have sent the mail?)
  • Is there another way of interpreting the situation? 

When you step back for a moment and entertain that your perception may not give you the full picture behind that e-mail, you might get to a place where you just look at the facts and those should not be as hurtful as what you made them mean. 

Reframing takes some practice, but when done well it changes the dynamics of a situation and shifts it to a positive place. If you would like to find out how you could benefit from reframing your thoughts more frequently, reach out for a free discovery call at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com. I look forward to hearing from you.