When was the last time that you reflected on what really matters to you in your life? What is truly meaningful to you? What do you stand for and how do you want to be remembered?   The reality is that most people do not give much thought to what they value, and they accept the values that were passed on to them by their parents and the environment they grew up in, resulting in a deep level of dissatisfaction and misalignment in their soul.

This may sound a bit dramatic, but it’s true. If you do not choose your values as an adult, others will choose them for you. Extended periods of misalignment with your values can lead to depression and even burnout. For example, if family is one of your top values, yet you spend endless hours on weekends at work, there is misalignment. I have experienced this first-hand in executive positions in the corporate world. It took me years to gain this insight and realize the price I paid for allowing it to happen. 

Values are individual to each person. There is no “right” or “wrong”, no “good” or “bad” value. You get to choose what matters the most to you, what gives meaning to your existence, and what serves as your North Star to guide you in making decisions in your life. When you are living a life that is in alignment with your values you thrive. It is as easy as that.

I start working with each new coaching client by taking stock of their values. It is a quick, yet profound exercise to review a (very) long list of suggested words such as achievement, success, or loyalty and condense it to a core list of their values. The outcome helps me understand what is truly important to them.  It also helps me understand potential triggers. When we feel like someone is pressing our buttons, it is because of an incongruence or misalignment between what we honor and what we perceived happened to us. Check out two previous articles I wrote on this subject that go into more detail: (https://belladonnacareercoach.com/the-importance-of-seeking-alignment-with-self-and-others-at-work/, https://belladonnacareercoach.com/stop-pushing-my-buttons/ ).

January is frequently a time of the year when we are apt to accept challenges that promise to lead to a better version of ourselves. I am currently practicing “dry January” and a 30-day yoga journey. So here is my challenge to you – I promise it will not take much time at all, yet, it will pay huge dividends: Take stock of your values! You can do a quick Google search and you will find lists with up to 300 different values. Narrow the list down to your top five values. Feel free to email me to share what you learned about yourself when you completed this exercise. What do you stand for? I would love to hear your results.

Albert Einstein once said: “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” If you need help finding your North Star and figuring out your values, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.