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Spoiler alert: Unless you work for the fire department, constant fire alarms are not the norm and should not be tolerated! Yet, who hasn’t experienced a work environment where you are being asked to drop whatever you are working on and to re-focus your attention on something deemed more urgent or important? If that describes your current situation, continue reading to find out how to cope with constant fire alarms without getting burned out.

The first thing I advise is to find the root cause of what is sparking the fire. Occasional increases in workload can happen in certain situations, e.g., when an organization is going through a merger and two companies need to integrate, during a reduction in force, or when there is an extension of the product portfolio. However, if the fire alarms are constant, you should closely examine what is missing in the organization. How competent is the leadership? How well are roles and responsibilities defined? How efficient are the processes or is the organization lacking them in the first place? What kind of culture is being practiced that tolerates overburdening their employees?

The second thing I recommend is to have a conversation with your manager and address the topic. Ask them to help you re-prioritize your project list, adjust deadlines, or provide more resources to deal with your increased workload. If your request is ignored, it is a clear indicator that your increased stress level is not a concern of your manager or the organization. It may be time to plan your exit strategy and find a new job.

If you find yourself in a fire alarm situation, I suggest looking for the gift of what this exercise might teach you. Crises, when temporary, do have some advantages: 

• They allow heroes to emerge. You or another team member may have a shining moment while stepping up to the plate and be recognized for the contribution to solving a problem. Perhaps even leading to a promotion.
• They may increase bonding among co-workers aiming for a common goal.
• They increase one’s resilience.

In the end, you need to ask yourself what you are tolerating. Some people claim that they perform well under pressure and thrive during fire alarms. It may be the case that the increased level of adrenaline and cortisol provides them with an extra boost to push through, but it comes at a cost. Constant stress is not sustainable, it drains you of energy to the point of burnout.

If you need help in setting healthy boundaries and dealing with fire alarms in a productive way, you might benefit from working with me as your coach. Reach out to me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com and schedule a complimentary discovery call.

It is fall in New England – my favorite time of the year, indicative of change.  The air is suddenly getting clear and crisp, the squirrels are busy burying their nuts, and the leaves are turning colors to the most vibrant tones of yellow, orange, red, and brown.  Observing these changes in nature reminds us that there is a natural rhythm to everything in life, including our careers.  

As we grow older and wiser, we experience a shift in our mindset, personal goals, and values that inspires a change. Two years ago, I recognized that my work as a corporate executive was no longer in alignment with my values. So, I invested in myself and began a new career as a professional coach. Such a drastic change late in one’s career can be scary and requires courage. 

If you find yourself at a crossroads in your career and you desire to be more in alignment with your values and goals, whether it is a promotion, a change in function or industry, going into business for yourself, or even retirement and you need a little extra courage to prepare, these 10 insights from my career that spanned 25+ years in the corporate world might set you up for success and prepare you for the seasons to come:

1. Develop a growth mindset and learn as much as you can throughout your life
2. Become clear on your values and do not compromise them to appease an employer
3. Seek the Truth and embrace perspectives.  Know the difference between the two
4. Practice acceptance and how to move on quickly from setbacks or disappointment
5. Be open to feedback to increase your level of self-awareness and impact on others
6. Don’t take anything personally
7. Be authentic!  There is only one of you in this entire universe.  Find your gifts and share them generously
8. Connect with others and find commonalities so that you can support one another
9. Stay grounded – no job is worth a burnout
10. And the final one, which was a piece of advice a wise woman gave me, do not let anyone or anything get in the way of fulfilling your dreams!

I would like to conclude with a quote by Jim Rohn: Life and business are like the changing seasons.  You cannot change the seasons, but you can change yourself. Therein lies the opportunity to live an extraordinary life, and the opportunity to change yourself.  

If you need help finding the courage to change yourself and live an extraordinary life, reach out to me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com. 

“Hi, how are you today?” is such a standard salutation in the U.S. that no one gives its meaning or response much thought. Whether you are greeting your barista at your favorite coffee shop, the dogwalker, your child’s babysitter, or your co-workers throughout the day. We merely expect to receive a brief “I am well, how about you?” in return. 

In other cultures, the use of language can be more literal. For example, in my native country Germany, people would feel obliged to answer the question “how are you?” truthfully and with much detail. They would probably tell you about their health, wealth, or lack thereof, as well as how their family is doing.  Of course, no one has time for that, especially in the workspace where every minute is accounted for, and expressing feelings makes people uncomfortable.

Imagine a (corporate) world, where both were possible – quick mental health check-ins and effective communication about one’s feelings and connections at a deeper level.  What do you believe could happen when people no longer needed to hide behind the standard response of “I am fine” and instead found a safe space to acknowledge that today they are not?  When do managers learn the skills to validate and acknowledge uncomfortable expressions of feelings such as anger, sadness, grief, or frustration?  I believe it would be the kind of place that would attract key talent and retain it, for no one would want to leave because everyone is seen as a complete human being. Not just someone performing a job. 

Creating a culture where employees connect and can express their feelings in a safe, yet professional way is entirely possible.  It starts at the top.  Leaders who can see the value of connecting with their employees at a deeper level need to teach their organizations three simple skills:

1.     Active listening
2.     Validating and acknowledging
3.     Expressing feelings effectively

 Active listening

One definition of active listening reads: “Active listening is the practice of preparing to listen, observing what verbal and non-verbal messages are being sent, and then providing appropriate feedback for the sake of showing attentiveness to the message being presented.”

Too often managers and leaders are not fully attentive in their interactions with employees. They are missing out on verbal and non-verbal clues about what is going on with their teams. They are disconnected. 

Validating and acknowledging (V&A)

V&A is sometimes considered a part of active listening. However, its relevance is so important that it deserves separate mentioning.  When we validate what is being said, we normalize what another person experiences and help them understand that whatever they are going through is not weird or unusual.  V&A does not mean saying “I know what you are going through”, because that would be a false statement.  Next time you want to make an employee feel better, try using the words “it is understandable you feel xyz” instead.

Expressing feelings effectively

We are not taught how to express our feelings. Especially in the workspace, it is more common to discuss thoughts than feelings.  Thoughts and feelings are directly connected and lead to actions or inactions.  This is why it is so important to learn how to express ALL emotions, not just the “good ones”.  Below is a wheel of emotions.  As you can see, there are hundreds to pick from.  Introducing employees to the entire spectrum of word choices to express their feelings will enrich communication, relationships and connection.   

Regardless of your position and status at work, if you are a single contributor, a manager, or an executive, if you develop the three skills described above, I guarantee you a happier, more prosperous life and career. As a professional coach, I can help you get there.  If your company needs help in establishing a culture that allows for the expression of all feelings at work to establish deeper connections and attract and retain talent, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com. 

How many times today have you had a thought or started a sentence with “I should have”? It is generally followed by a heavy feeling in your gut that you didn’t choose your actions wisely. Perhaps you had intentions to spend more time with your kids or spouse last weekend, or you regret not having prepared for a conversation with your manager and walked away from that meeting feeling incompetent and deflated. If any of this sounds familiar, you might have constant “guilt trips” that get in your way.

Guilt occurs when we believe that we have crossed some kind of moral boundary and violated rules or values. In hindsight, we believe we should have acted differently than we did and we are ashamed of our actions and what they might say about us. For example, if you didn’t spend as much time with your kids as you wanted, you might tell yourself that you are a bad parent. 

We all experience different levels of feeling guilty at home or work. It is an ongoing battle that I frequently observe among my clients and have also experienced first-hand. The challenge is to not allow those thoughts to hijack you but to find ways to let go and move on with a positive attitude so that you can return to a state of balance and productivity. 

Here are a few thoughts on what you can do differently the next time you feel guilty. 

• If you feel that your actions or non-actions have hurt another person, ask for forgiveness, and forgive yourself
• Question your standards and values. Are you being unnecessarily hard on yourself? Maybe you can find a middle path that better serves you
• Give yourself some grace and space and know that we are all doing the best we can at any given moment
• Increase your awareness about your negative inner dialogue and keep track of the number of times you think “I should have”. Keep a journal about those thoughts
• Question The Truth – how true is what you are telling yourself about yourself? Chances are it is not true. Find evidence of the contrary
• Ask yourself what you are learning from the situation and what you might do differently next time
• Lastly, drop the guilt and move on

I hope that you find these tips helpful the next time you are going on a “guilt-trip”. Being conscious about your actions and how they may impact you and others is healthy. Beating yourself up constantly over things that do not matter in the long run is not. If you need help putting things into perspective, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

Coming out of a global pandemic and working remotely shifted the needs of employees worldwide. It created an increase in the desire to be seen and heard. The workforce has expressed a need for leaders to show a greater level of mindfulness in communication, providing emotional support, and demonstrating empathy. All of these needs are aspects of emotional intelligence that are known to maintain productivity and increase employee engagement. Although emotional intelligence has been much discussed in the past, there still appears to be a gap when it comes to implementing practical steps that provide a safe space for employees to express their emotions and for managers to respond with empathy.   

Research shows that bottling up emotions can have long-term mental and physical effects ranging from depression to increased blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, and even cancer. The problem is that many of us were conditioned to label emotions such as sadness, frustration, disgust, and anger as “bad” and “inappropriate” and that it was considered unprofessional to express them at work. In reality, all emotions serve a purpose. They are directly connected to our thoughts, and they inform the actions we take. 

So, how can employers and leaders bridge the gap and create an environment where it is safe to express those feelings, avoid inner and outer conflict, and demonstrate mindfulness in human interactions? Here are my recommendations:

1. Raise awareness about the topic

Provide your teams with data about emotional intelligence and the impact improved mental support has on productivity and employee engagement.

2. Create a culture of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and relate to the thoughts, feelings, and actions of others. Once you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and show compassion, you create a common basis of understanding about where emotions stem from giving you the information you need to be able to provide support for your employees.

3. Train your staff on how to provide ongoing feedback

Many organizations only provide constructive feedback during employee performance reviews. That turns feedback into a one-way street from a manager to their direct report. Those organizations miss out on the power of bilateral feedback as a means of communicating thoughts and emotions and the impact one individual’s actions has on another.

4. Provide coaching

Coaching increases the level of self-awareness about one’s thoughts, emotions, and actions and can have a significant impact on improving communication and relationships among employees. Advanced coaching can even train people in how to shift their own emotions and those of others to happier, healthier, and more productive levels.

Employees who feel seen and heard are more engaged, loyal, and willing to go the extra mile. During the time of the great resignation and quiet quitting, employee retention and engagement is more critical than ever. If you need help in implementing a program that promotes greater mindfulness in communication among your teams, please contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

“Tell me about yourself” is a question that is frequently asked in job interviews and is an opportunity to provide your elevator pitch highlighting your greatest strengths. It is also a question that often stumps people, especially if they have not thought about how they define themself. Whichever words we use behind “I am” it is an indicator of the story we create in our heads about who we are. If those words or thoughts created a negative self-perception that you cannot get out of, you got stuck in “Whoville”. 

Whoville is an imaginary place that we all individually created in our early childhood. It is an accumulation of what we learned. It is like a giant mental library that archives all experiences, and labels them as “good” or “bad”. Housed in Whoville are the labels our parents, teachers, trainers, friends, and others gave us along the way. All of us have a mixed bag of labels and with every experience or relationship and every consequence after an action, we add to this library. We initially stored these impressions to survive and grow up. Later in life we just forgot the reasons for the labels and kept storing them away. 

Every person has their own Whoville. The difference between people who are leading successful and fulfilling careers and lives versus those who are miserable and feel stuck is the level of awareness each person has about the thoughts and labels they chose to accept as truths about themselves. Highly successful people decide at some point to clean out the archives and get rid of any thoughts or labels that no longer serve them, such as “you are not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, etc.”. Instead, they chose to replace those thoughts and restock the shelves with daily affirmations, strengthening the positives they identify with. 

The good news is if you are stuck in Whoville, you can find your way out because every day we get to choose who we want to be and how we want to show up in this world. If your Whoville does not feel good, engaging a professional coach is the fastest way to re-write your script. I have the tools and the knowledge to lead you to the truth and find the best version of you so that the next time you are asked “tell me about yourself” your response will be one full of joy and enthusiasm to share with the world. Don’t wait, contact me today at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com to get you on track and redesign your Whoville to a place where you want to reside. 

If you have ever stepped foot on Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport or the London Tube, you have been reminded by signs and voice prompts to “mind the gap”. These warnings are hard to ignore. Their purpose is to make you aware of the gap in front of you so that you can take mindful steps to keep you “out” of the gap. When you apply this analogy to your career status, how mindful are you of the gaps between your current and desired level in your organization?

As a manager, mentor, and coach, I have guided numerous ambitious individuals at all organizational levels on what it might take to make a promotion more likely to occur. The guidance starts with understanding the following: 

1. Becoming fully aware of your gaps
2. Understanding expectations
3. Being mindful in closing the gaps
4. Going the extra mile

Let’s look at each of these individually.

Becoming fully aware of your gaps

What are others saying about you when you are not in the room? Throughout the year your manager will gather information to assess you from superiors, peers, direct reports, and even customers. This data is powerful. It is the basis of your performance review as well as a talent review that most large organizations conduct annually to determine your readiness for more responsibility and your possibilities for promotion. It serves you to ask for feedback either in your one-on-one conversations with your manager or directly from other sources. Don’t be afraid to request this information and to openly ask your manager about any development opportunities. This is how you become fully aware of your gaps.

Understanding expectations

How clear are you about the level of performance, experience, and skills that are required for that next level? In my experience, this can be a gray zone, but there are steps that you can take to gain more clarity. In my previous leadership positions, I clearly defined the roles and responsibilities of my entire team and what skills they needed to demonstrate consistently to advance. While such a resource might not be available to you, you should be able to access job descriptions on your internal hub, LinkedIn, or other job search platforms. Study the requirements of the next job level closely to better understand your gaps and the expectations of organizations.

Being mindful in closing the gaps

Do you have a personal development plan in place? If you don’t, then it is time to create one. By now you should be fully aware of what skills or knowledge you need to acquire and what behavior you need to demonstrate to make it to the next level. There are many resources and opportunities for you to get to work and mindfully close your gaps. You can take internal or external courses, read books, or better yet, engage a career coach to work with you on your goals.

Going the extra mile

Performance reviews generally measure how well you delivered against your goals. To get promoted, achieving your goals is not enough. You must consistently exceed the expectations of your current role and go the extra mile. I recommend aligning with your manager at the beginning of the year to get clarity on what achieving versus exceeding goals looks like to eliminate vague interpretations or surprises. You will likely be rated on both what you achieved as well as how you went about achieving it. No one is served if you exceeded your sales quota but left a dozen dead bodies along the way and alienated co-workers or customers.

I hope that this article has helped you to “mind the gap” to your next promotion. As a professional career coach who has developed and promoted many ambitious employees, I can help you create your personal plan for success. I invite you to schedule a complimentary discovery call with me. Reach me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

A recent survey conducted by McKinsey & Company of nearly 14,000 employees in Canada, the United States, Australia, Singapore, and the United Kingdom listed the top reasons why employees are quitting their jobs. 41% of respondents listed a lack of career development or advancement as their number one reason. Making it a higher reason for leaving than inadequate compensation or uninspiring leaders. This is not necessarily a shocking statistic, however, in my personal experience, it is something that is completely avoidable.

What do great attorneys, journalists, interrogators, leaders, and coaches have in common? They all know the power of asking effective questions. Now, the difference between how each of these professions uses questioning is that they have distinctive motives and styles. For example, Johnny Depp’s attorney Camille Vasquez recently skillfully demonstrated how specific, closed-ended questions might corner a witness. Another example would be NBC News Anchor Savannah Guthrie, a journalist, and attorney, and her interview with Amber Heard. The beginning of the interview started with gentle and seemingly harmless questions before asking cut-throat types of questions like an interrogator would. 

On the other hand, coaches and great leaders will ask empowering questions to assist their entrusted clients or employees to draw their own conclusions and determine the best path toward their goals. Additionally, coaches bring out the best in a person while learning about their drivers, sources of creativity, and fears or concerns that might get in the way. The coach and the client will then work together to further explore and overcome any obstacles that have been identified. 

Asking empowering questions is an art, and it is accessible to everyone. It is one of the most effective tools for advancing one’s career and improving relationships. What makes a question empowering? Empowering questions are: 

1. 1. Open-ended
   2. Thought-provoking and
   3. Non-judgmental

They might start with “what”, “how”, “when”, “who” or “why”. Now, not every open-ended question is empowering. Asking “why” five times in a row, should be reserved for five-year-old children. Managers employing this technique will put their opponents quickly on defense.

Many people are hesitant and afraid to ask questions, especially in a crowded room or when they are with higher-ranking organizational leaders, out of fear of exposure and embarrassment. Instead, they will remain silent or worse speculate about answers and make up their own stories in their heads. Neither one of those responses are self-serving.

So, if you are interested in advancing your career at an accelerated pace and stand out in a positive way, I encourage you to practice the following: In your next one-on-one with your manager ask them what specifically they need from you to support the overall goals of the department and the organization. When leading a cross-functional meeting, make sure you get everyone’s perspective on their area of responsibility by asking “what is the opportunity in bringing all of these points of view together?” If you interact with a mentor in the organization, ask them what the greatest advice was that they have ever received.

When you master the art of asking empowering questions with inquisitiveness there are no limits, as you will not only learn things you otherwise wouldn’t have, but you will also gain visibility and exposure within your organization because your questions, unlike those of Camille Vasquez or Savannah Guthrie interrogating Amber Heard, are coming from a non-judgmental place of marvel that is intended to uplift everyone around you.

What doors do you see opening for you once you master the art of asking empowering questions? If you work with me as your coach, we can practice together and you will see how your career trajectory soars. Contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com to set up a complimentary discovery call.

Goodbye July. You have been a delightful and insightful month for me and I will fondly remember you as the month when I decided to break the mold of the old me, who had been operating in my comfort zone for a while. It was time for me to show up for myself, create habits that serve me and let go of old habits that don’t.

July was my turning point in the search for my best self. You see, to the outside world I was seen as a strong person who was hitting all of the levels of success in life. Even if this was true, I realized that I have so much untapped potential just waiting to be utilized. If I want to serve this world and follow my purpose fully, I was going to have to make some changes.

At the end of June, I left on a solo vacation to Maine to clear my mind in solitude and come up with a plan. I had just been introduced to the book Atomic Habits by James Clear (tiny changes, remarkable results). Mind you, I had many healthy and productive habits to build upon, such as working out daily. I have always been known for being very disciplined, but there were areas that I had let slide in the first six months of this year after some major changes in my personal life. I had established some not-so-healthy habits and while my coaching practice is all about bringing mindfulness to all areas of one’s life, I was not fully living what I was teaching.

The book, Atomic Habits provides a framework for things to make sense and ring true, but multiple other factors and influences got me on track. I started a practice of Thai Yoga Massage earlier this year that expanded my heart space. I joined a coaching group that I highly recommend (Gray Tonic led by Kari Schwear) and committed to a “dry July”. I said farewell to my beloved habit of unwinding with wine, realizing how that habit had not only fogged my clarity but also fed into my fears. I started practicing yoga, and meditation and journaled as if my life depended on it. I tracked my macros and lost 8 lbs and 3% body fat. I declared that I wanted the rest of my life to be the best of my life!

There are several other commitments I made in July that will pay dividends well into the future. I adopted a rescue dog into my life named Boone, a two-year-old chocolate lab. He will make sure that we get our daily steps in and spend time in nature. His vibration will also add positively charged energy to my home. I signed up for a coaching program through Positive Intelligence to sharpen my tools and gain more insights into what is holding people back from their full potential and how to quiet one’s saboteurs. I am reading the book The Power Of One More by Ed Mylett, that has the subtitle “the ultimate guide to happiness and success” and I am broadening my spiritual practice by studying Gene Keys, by Richard Rudd. 

While my journey to becoming the best version of myself has only started, July was my month to break the mold of old habits that no longer serve me! What will it take for you to follow along and show up as the best version of yourself? You owe it to yourself and this world! If you need help breaking your mold, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

When it comes to assessments of your personality, strengths, areas of improvement, characteristics, performance, etc., what do you think when you run across one? Do you ignore or avoid them because you are skeptical or fearful of getting a lesser result than you hoped? Or do you embrace them as more insight into how you show up in this world? Personally, I fall into the latter category. This weekend I came across an assessment from Positive Intelligence, which provides insight into your predominant saboteurs.

According to Positive Intelligence, there are ten saboteurs. We all suffer from them and carry one or multiple saboteurs deeply rooted in us from childhood. These saboteurs helped protect us growing up, but as adults, they can get in our way of living a healthy, balanced life. Other institutions may refer to these saboteurs in different terms and call them your “gremlin,” “inner critic,” or “limiting beliefs.” We all have them. It’s the voice in our head telling us that we are not good enough for some reason. 

In full transparency, my top saboteur is that I am a “hyper-achiever.” Those who know me are probably giggling right now and thinking, “duh, you needed an assessment to tell you that”? Now, some might value being a hyper-achiever as a positive thing. Especially in the corporate world, hyper-achievers are the type of people that can be counted on to deliver at all costs. They are also sometimes known as workaholics. Hyper-achievers are competitive, driven, and self-motivated, yet image and status conscious. There is ego involved in succeeding.   

Positive Intelligence provides longer descriptions of all saboteurs. They elaborate on thoughts, feelings, and impact on others, as well as the root cause of one’s saboteur. I am well aware of mine. It is known as “absent validation from parental figures.” Academic achievements were not only discouraged by my mother (can you imagine?), but they were also downright boycotted. My athletic achievements as a karate champion were ignored. Whatever I accomplished was not good enough to evoke praise. This lack of acknowledgment continued well into my adulthood. I was 35 when my mom told me for the first time how proud my dad, who had passed five years earlier, and she was of me.

My saboteur drove me to overcompensate in all areas of my life. In my career, I reached the level of Vice President in multi-billion-dollar organizations, but I paid an emotional toll, which was two near burnouts. To make matters worse, I was married to a narcissist who played into my insecurities, further dismantling my self-worth.

Fast-forward several years. There were many hours of therapy and a journey of self-discovery that led me to the decision to become a professional coach. My level of self-awareness is currently at its peak. I have turned my tragedy into triumph by helping others to raise their level of consciousness and achieve the career of their dreams. Not because they are hyper-achievers and will work themselves to death, but because they are worthy. I can help them be successful without the struggles I endured. 

If you are interested in finding your inner saboteur, you can do the Positive Intelligence assessment by going to the following link: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/resources/. If you are ready to do some inner work and face your saboteur, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

Take a break for a minute from whatever it is you are working on and describe in a few words your current working environment:

• How would you rate the quality of the air you are breathing?
• What is the temperature in your space?  Is the air conditioning blasting or the lack thereof making it unbearable to think about anything else but a cold beverage?
• Are you seated, standing up, or required to constantly walking around?
• What type of technology are you utilizing? Is it the latest and greatest? What is your level of comfort in using technology? 
• What type of background noise are you tolerating? Do you have to share a space with many co-workers without any privacy? Is construction in or outside your building making it hard for you to concentrate on the task?
• Are you a road warrior and constantly on the go via planes, trains, and automobiles? You do not have a regular office space, or have to adjust to whatever space is available?

 How are all of these things affecting you?

These factors are environmental influencers that, unless optimized, will drain you of energy and negatively impact your productivity and job satisfaction.

This article is the sixth and final one in a series I created to help you optimize your environment, achieve a higher quality of life, and reach peak performance. The Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) identified six major stressors, a.k.a. influencers, that can rob us of energy: 

1. Spiritual
2. Mental
3. Emotional
4. Physical
5. Social
6. Environmental

I have worked in various environments throughout my career. In my mid-twenties, I was a flight attendant with many variables in the circumstances of my daily work, inclusive of a smoker section on the airplane! Then I worked throughout Europe in duty-free stores on airports and on ferries literally weathering storms, until I became more used to traditional corporate spaces. I remember my level of excitement when I was promoted to Director and moved from a cubicle to a corner office! While working in the medical device industry, I traveled worldwide and visited doctors in hospital settings. And finally, my home became my workspace with all its conveniences and potential distractions like my dog barking to get my attention. 

I have seen a wide variety of work surroundings and know under which I achieve peak performance. Do you know under which circumstances you perform best? Since we cannot always control the external conditions of our environment, we need to optimize them to reach and maintain an optimal level of productivity. For example, if the air conditioning is set at a level that is freezing your bones and making your teeth chatter, make sure to bring some extra layers to work, or set up a space heater. 

Once you have exhausted all external factors you can optimize, you can work on your mindset. In the last article, I wrote about your choices in dealing with challenging relationships. The same options apply to how you approach a challenging work environment:

1)     Remain a victim of it

2)     Leave it

3)     Accept it as is

4)     Change it

5)     Change your perspective on it

You now have all the knowledge you need to tackle all six stressors in your life that can drain you of energy. Additionally, if you refer to my series on the ten practices to unleash the career of your dreams, you know what to do to refill your proverbial cup and achieve peak performance as a leader. 

Knowledge is power, but it is not reliable enough to know how to change. To achieve lasting improvements and put your career on a different trajectory, you need to listen to your “why” of what is making this important to you and put a plan in place. 

As a professional coach, I can help you not only figure out your “why,” but I can support you with my experience, wisdom, and tools to help you unleash the career of your dreams. Contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com to schedule a discovery call

It is common for clients, family members, and friends to vent about encounters with their managers, co-workers, other family members, or friends because someone stepped on their proverbial toes. The effect? Hurt, sadness, anger, or frustration. The cause? Someone in their social network just triggered a stress reaction that drained them of their energy. 

How frequently does it happen to you? How often do you allow others to take away your power? If it happens pretty often (more than once or twice a week), it might be time for you to take stock of who you surround yourself with and re-assess your options regarding those relationships. 

This article is the fifth in a series I created to help you optimize your environment, achieve a higher quality of life, and reach peak performance. The Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) identified six major stressors, a.k.a. influencers, that can rob us of energy: 

1. Spiritual
2. Mental
3. Emotional
4. Physical
5. Social
6. Environmental

In contrast to the first four potential stressors we covered (spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical), the social influencer is externally oriented as it is all about our relationship with others.

Especially in a professional environment, we cannot always choose the people we interact with. We may be assigned teams, managers, or clients, and some individuals or groups may be difficult or toxic. This can be extremely challenging to deal with. I have experienced this first-hand, and if you are going through this, I highly recommend you seek help from internal resources such as your HR department or external resources such as a coach or counselor. 

I want to focus on two aspects of relationships:

a) The type of relationships we choose and the people we surround ourselves with

b) The choices we have in how we are dealing with challenging relationships

a)  Type of relationships we choose

If I asked you to make a list of the ten people you spend the most time with at work or home and then rank the quality of these relationships on a scale of 1-10, with one being toxic and 10 fueling you with energy and joy, what would be your overall tally? How do you choose your relationships in the first place? What are your criteria? What do you have in common, and how is the relationship serving you? The answer to these questions tells a lot about your self-worth and how much you honor your values.

b)   Choices we have in dealing with challenging relationships

We all encounter challenging relationships that cause both inner and outer conflict. What if I told you that you always control how you approach these trying situations? In any given relationship, we have five options on how to approach them:

1) Remain a victim of it

2) Leave it

3) Accept it as is

4) Change it

5) Change your perspective on it

Would you be surprised to hear that most people are only aware of option #1 and therefore choose to remain the victim of a relationship that drains them rather than take action? Inactivity is usually fear-based. It paralyzes us and leaves us internally bruised. It is the unhealthiest of all options. I encourage you to entertain options 2-5 to improve your relationships and thus your quality of life.

The truth is when it comes to relationships and our social networks, we have more power than what is commonly believed. We choose the majority of our social networks in our life, and even those relationships that are seemingly out of our control, such as our family connections or work affiliates, include basic elements that we do control. 

As a professional coach, I can help you take stock of who you have on your support team and help you decide who is worth keeping to protect your highest vibration and who you might want to distance or remove yourself from. Contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

Happy belated 4th of July! How was your weekend? How have the choices you made over the past days served you? Did you overindulge in food and adult beverages at the barbeque you attended? Did your exercise routine fall to the wayside? Did staying up late to watch the fireworks impede your sleep? If you can relate, you have allowed some physical influencers that drain your energy to derail you, and your work week is probably off to a slow start. 

This article is the fourth in a series I created to help you optimize your environment, achieve a higher quality of life, and reach peak performance. The Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) identified six major stressors, a.k.a. influencers, that can rob us of energy: 

1. Spiritual
2. Mental
3. Emotional
4. Physical
5. Social
6. Environmental

Physical Factors that can influence our level of performance are related to (you guessed it) our physical well-being. Many of the factors are a direct result of the choices we make every day. They consist of our overall health, amount and quality of sleep, regulating our breath, body image, level of exercise/activity, injury and illness, and nutrition and hydration or lack thereof by inducing alcohol and drugs. 

Some of the greatest leaders are keenly aware of how balancing the physical influencers contributes to their performance. As mentioned earlier, many of these factors are direct daily choices, while others may happen to us incidentally. For example, catching a virus and becoming sick, falling and breaking a leg, or being diagnosed with a disease like cancer in a worst-case scenario. While injury and sickness may not be a conscious choice, how we cope with them and our attitude towards them can impact recovery speed.  

So, what will you do to show up as the best version of your physical embodiment at work and in life? How ready are you on a scale of 1-10 to make some changes that serve you, with one being not at all and ten saying “let’s go”? What is holding you back? 

As a professional coach, I can help you become the best version of yourself to achieve peak performance. Together we can ensure that when the next holiday weekend comes around, you are prepared to make good choices and fuel your energy level. Contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

As leaders, we have seen it all: tantrums, waterworks, shouting matches, and other emotional breakdowns by employees. As leaders, we may have caused or contributed to some of these highly charged scenarios. These are examples of emotions getting out of control at work and being expressed in self-sabotaging and unprofessional ways. 

Currently, there is judgment about emotions in the workplace and the prominence of black-and-white thinking about “good emotions,” e.g., celebrations after winning a contract, vs. “bad emotions,” e.g., jealousy over the promotion of a peer. I used to hold some of these limiting beliefs myself, when as a female executive, I wouldn’t allow myself to openly display fear, anger, guilt, or sadness, thinking that it would be a sign of weakness.

I wish I had known then what I know now. All feelings are valid and serve a purpose. To express ourselves as authentic leaders, we don’t need to hide our emotions as long as we convey them appropriately and professionally. This does require practice. But, once we master our own emotions and learn how to guide our team members in managing their emotions, we hold the key to building high-performance teams. 

This article is the third in a series that I created to help you optimize your environment, achieve a higher quality of life, and reach peak performance. The Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) identified six major stressors, a.k.a. influencers, that can rob us of energy: 

1. Spiritual
2. Mental
3. Emotional
4. Physical
5. Social
6. Environmental

Suppose you can embrace the thought that emotions are neither good nor bad but simply indicators to notice and act on. In that case, you are already ahead in managing your emotions at work and in life productively. There are many models categorizing emotions. IPEC utilizes the FLAG acronym to identify five core emotions:

Fear – born out of self-protection to lose something that is of value to you

Love – the most powerful emotion and everyone’s most significant driving force

Anger – a reaction to feeling threatened

Guilt – when who you are is not being honored by what you do or say

Sadness and grief – the loss of a person or hope or dream

Once you can name your emotion, you can determine what may have triggered it. For example, a less-than-stellar performance review may have triggered feelings of anger towards your manager and fear of losing your job, or your buttons may have been pushed because someone said something about you that hurt your innermost feelings. I have published articles in the past about triggers and how to respond rather than react. Check out the following:

https://belladonnacareercoach.com/stop-pushing-my-buttons/

https://belladonnacareercoach.com/the-day-i-lost-my-sht-at-work/ 

If you are easily triggered and are concerned you might be self-sabotaging your career because you react to emotional stressors and take them personally, I recommend you work with me as your coach. Together, we can increase your level of awareness so that you break the reactive pattern and choose how to respond rather than react. Contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

How frequently do you find yourself being distracted and multi-tasking, battling a pile of unanswered e-mails or trying to stay focused on the task at hand? If these are common work scenarios for you, you might be experiencing stress due to your mental influencers being compromised. 

This article is the second in a series that I created to help you optimize your environment, achieve a higher quality of life, and reach peak performance. The Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) identified six major stressors a.k.a. influencers that can rob us of energy: 

1. Spiritual
2. Mental
3. Emotional
4. Physical
5. Social
6. Environmental

Mental influencers affect performance and are related to your thoughts and how you process them. They are a combination of both brain power and brain functioning. Geniuses and great leaders alike have learned to optimize all elements of mental influencers, contributing to being 100% present in the moment and having their brains fire on all cylinders.  

Mental influencers elements are:

• Alertness
• Concentration and focus
• Acute awareness
• Ability to access creativity and intuition
• Clarity
• Memory
• Degree of mental stimulation

So, what can you do to achieve peak brain performance and achieve your highest potential as a leader?

Step 1) Identify when and how the elements that make up the mental influencers work optimally for you. For example, when are you the most alert? How much sleep do you need to be the most alert? How many cups of coffee do you have before you are the most alert? You get the idea. 

Step 2) Repeat the same for all the elements listed above. Doing this activity will help you create your personal “recipe for success”. 

Step 3) Put your recipe to work and apply it to all your daily tasks.

As a professional coach, I can help you discover your recipe for success as well as hold you accountable to achieve peak performance as a leader. If you are interested in working with me, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

Stress. We all experience stress at some level every day just listening to the news about inflation, the war in Ukraine, mass shootings, baby formula shortage, or the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial. These events are stressors at a macro level. Add to that what is happening in our personal worlds at home and work, and trying to balance the demands we and others put on us. No wonder we are all stressed out.

Stress drains energy and prevents us from showing up in this world as our best version. Stress causes us to react rather than respond. It brings out the worst in us.

How do you cope with stress? How aware are you of your stressors? What habits do you revert to when you are stressed?

The way we react to stressors is deeply internalized and ingrained in us. Most people will have one or two default reactions to stress.

1. a) They might withdraw from the situation and internalize it
2. b) They might react with frustration, anger, and even violence.

Also, depending on your level of self-control and practice, you might be able to snap out of your stress reaction and return to your “normal” energy level quicker than others.

This series was created to help you optimize your environment, achieve a higher quality of life, and reach peak performance. The Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) identified six major stressors a.k.a. influencers that can rob us of energy: 

1. Spiritual
2. Mental
3. Emotional
4. Physical
5. Social
6. Environmental

Your spiritual influencers are the foundation of how you show up in this world and the workplace. They are defined as your individual values, thoughts of your purpose, goals, connection to others or higher powers, and beliefs. It could also be described as your “moral compass”.

Frequently, my clients struggle to balance their own spiritual beliefs with their employers’ culture, values, and vision, triggering them into a stress reaction. If you consistently compromise on your own spiritual influencers at work, energy drain will become unsustainable and unhealthy.

So, what can you do to make sure your connection to purpose, alignment with vision, values, and goals, and your ability to create balance is not being crushed by your manager or employer?

The first step is to draw awareness to the situation. Have you asked yourself what your core values are? What is your personal vision? What are you unwilling to compromise on? Once you have established the answers to these questions, it is paramount that you honor your values and set boundaries, even if it means quitting your job. 

Alignment with your spiritual influencers is critical. As a professional coach and certified Energy Leadership Master Practitioner, I have a tool that accurately measures how you show up in this world. It is called an Energy Leadership Index (ELI) assessment, and it evaluates your energy level on a typical day vs. when you are under stress. I utilize this tool with all my clients to help them gain a greater level of awareness, which is the basis for improving performance and unleashing the career of your dreams. If you are interested in learning more about working with me as your coach, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

Tell me a story about something you are passionate about in your life. I am listening intently. I hear the enthusiasm in your voice. I notice a bright smile on your face, your body language is animated, and you are 100% energetically engaged in this moment. Imagine what would happen in your career if you could apply this same level of energy and passion to your job every day?  

100% Energetic Engagement is the tenth and final practice (a.k.a. discipline) featured in this series on how to unleash the career of your dreams and reach your full potential as a leader. In case you have missed previous articles on the subject, here is the complete list of the ten practices as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC):

1. Awareness
2. Acceptance
3. Conscious Choice
4. Trusting the Process
5. Authenticity
6. Fearlessness
7. Confidence
8. Connection
9. Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

When researching the meaning of “energy” and its origin, I learned it was derived from an ancient Greek word. The original meaning was philosophical and included the concepts of happiness and pleasure. This explanation makes perfect sense to me. When we are 100% energetically engaged, we are in a state of euphoria and can create anything at will and manifest our hearts’ greatest desires.   

If being 100% energetically engaged is the secret to reaching your full potential as a leader and all you must do is show up, give it your all, and not quit regardless of the obstacles, then why is this state so hard to reach, let alone maintain? The answer is that there are external and internal factors that are robbing us of our energy. 

Being 100% energetically engaged requires us to “fire on all cylinders” and utilize our total spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, environmental, and social capacity. That is not an easy task, especially when we are unaware that any of these areas, also referred to as the six influencers in the iPEC vocabulary, are draining us of energy. 

• Did you not get enough sleep last night and can’t think clearly today (mental and physical drain)? 
• Were you in a fight with your significant other before showing up at the office (social and emotional drain)?
• Do you have to work on a holiday and are upset about it (spiritual and emotional drain)? 

The list of factors potentially diminishing your energy is endless, and therefore our ability to engage 100% energetically is constantly being challenged. 

My advice is to bring awareness to what robs you of energy and optimize your circumstances. Identify what is holding you back. Whether it is an external distractor, e.g., the lighting and temperature in your office (environmental drain), which is easily fixed, or whether you are holding yourself back due to some internal blocks, that can be best addressed by working with a coach. 

How you show up in this world is entirely your choice. You are empowered to create your experience at will by mastering the ten practices featured in this series. If you are interested in learning more about reaching your full potential as a leader, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.