Author: admin

Distractions –they are everywhere. Some distraction we seek out when we feel defeated, devastated, or angry, and we choose to tune out and not cope with whatever is happening in the moment. Other distractions are happening around us constantly and are just part of everyday life . The phone keeps ringing; we are running from meeting to meeting without a break, and new e-mails are flooding our inbox. It becomes hard to stay focused on the task at hand, and before we know it, we are drained of energy as we are getting further away from being present in the moment.

Presence in the moment is the ninth practice (a.k.a. discipline) out of the ten featured in this series of how to unleash the career of your dreams and reach your full potential as a leader. In case you have missed previous articles on the subject, here is the complete list of the ten practices as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC):

1. Awareness
2. Acceptance
3. Conscious Choice
4. Trusting the Process
5. Authenticity
6. Fearlessness
7. Confidence
8. Connection
9. Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

Did you know that, on average, our minds wander at least 30% of the time, and during some activities such as commuting to work, as much as 70% of the time, according to Jonathan Schooler of UC, Santa Barbara? That is a high percentage of time to be disconnected (also see practice #8) from the task you are performing. While our minds’ ability to take us anywhere at any given time differentiates us from other species, it also robs us of productivity, energy, and, as some recent studies suggest, happiness. 

So how, as leaders, can we prevent our minds from wandering? By practicing mindfulness and presence in the moment. Here are a few tips to minimize the amount of time your mind wanders to the past or the future:

• Eliminate distractions of all sorts, turn off your phone or notifications
• When in conversation, listen deeply and actively to what is being said, instead of waiting to make your point
• Take breaks in-between meetings and ground yourself briefly through breathing exercises
• Let go of the need to control
• Become an observer, without judgment of what is happening

You can do many more things to increase your mindfulness at work and home. As a professional coach, I help my clients stay present in the moment and not worry about what happened in the past or might happen in the future. If you are interested in working with me, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

When was the last time you felt truly connected to life, yourself, the people around you, your environment, or a higher power? How do you think you reached that state of complete connection? How did it feel? Imagine you could re-create this powerful state any time and apply it to your role as a leader. What do you think would happen? 

When we reach a state of connection, we are at our best level of performance. We are in the present and free of fear and judgment of ourselves or others. Some people refer to this state as “being in the zone” or “being in the flow.” I was in the zone this morning during my daily CrossFit routine. While on a Nordic Track skier, I exceeded 1,000 cals/hour for the very first time. In the past, I may have gotten to around 800 cals/hour at best, but today something connected that led me to peak performance. I was able to get out of my head and overcome my limiting belief that I was not capable of reaching this level, even when my coach had been telling me otherwise for quite some time. 

Connection is the eighth practice (a.k.a. discipline) out of the ten featured in this series of how to unleash the career of your dreams and reach your full potential as a leader. In case you have missed previous articles on the subject, here is the complete list of the ten practices as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC):

1. Awareness
2. Acceptance
3. Conscious Choice
4. Trusting the Process
5. Authenticity
6. Fearlessness
7. Confidence
8. Connection
9. Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

When we look at our lives and careers from the perspective of connection and believe that everyone and everything are connected on some level, we overcome division and the need to feel superior, “having a leg up” over someone, and the trappings of our ego. The need to win at all costs disappears. Instead, we create a space of highly anabolic energy that elevates everyone around us. Leaders who know how to connect attract their tribe of like-minded people who want to work with them and consistently achieve that state of flow. It is the key to building high-performance teams. 

If you desire to increase your level of connection and reach your full potential as a leader, here are a few things you can do:

• Practice awareness (see discipline 1) of your environment and interactions with other people. Listen to them deeply and empathize
• Take walks in nature and connect with your surroundings. Listen to the sounds, become aware of the smell that is surrounding you, take off your shoes and walk in the grass or splash your feet in a cold creek, and see how invigorated and connected you’ll feel
• Connect to a higher power and find relief through prayer or meditation

As a professional coach, I help my clients determine what inner blocks are holding them back from being fully connected and systemically work with them on creating their state of flow. If you are interested in working with me, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com. 

What comes to mind when you hear the words “confident leader”?  What qualities do they possess that you admire and wish you had?  How do you define confidence? What would your confidence level be if you developed those qualities as a leader?

Whatever your answers were to my initial questions, I have great news! – Confidence is not something you are born with but rather something you acquire over time through experience, practice, and having a growth mindset.  You can develop a greater level of confidence to propel your career trajectory and help you optimize your leadership potential; I can show you how. 

Confidence is the seventh practice (a.k.a. discipline) out of the ten featured in this series of how to unleash the career of your dreams. In case you have missed previous articles on the subject, here is the complete list of the ten practices as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC):

1.   Awareness
2.   Acceptance
3.   Conscious Choice
4.   Trusting the Process
5.   Authenticity
6.   Fearlessness
7.   Confidence
8.   Connection
9.   Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

How confidently you approach a new task, project, or situation begins with your mindset.  Your thoughts and ideas of what success looks like determine your confidence level. 

• A low level of confidence will manifest in thoughts of defeat, anger, frustration, and an “all-or-nothing” attitude toward winning or losing. 
• A person with a low to moderate level of confidence might approach the same situation with less care about the desired outcome and possibly see that a positive outcome could happen but are not fully invested. 
• A leader with a moderate to high level of confidence sees opportunity everywhere.
• Those reaching the highest level of confidence can detach from the outcome, let go of ego, and create the experience of their own will.  In other words, a high-level leader will draw their strength from within irrespective of the task at hand.  They simply know that they have everything they need at their disposal, even without any prior experience. 

How do you feel now that you have learned that anyone can develop confidence in all situations, regardless of previous experience?  It is an empowering feeling, isn’t it?  As a professional coach, I can help you develop the mindset of a confident leader in all situations.

I would like to conclude this article with a piece of advice by Henry David Thoreau “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.”

How often do you find yourself hesitating at work or in life to say or do what you truly want? How afraid are you that just being yourself could hurt your career trajectory? What is holding you back from “putting it all out there” and being authentic? How much are you allowing fear to consume you and impact your performance?

Fears are common. They are so common that I came across a giant list of fears when googling the word, most of which I had never even heard of (check it out at https://www.verywellmind.com/list-of-phobias-2795453). The most prevalent group of fears in the work environment is social fears. To list a few:

• Revealing personal information about yourself
• Asserting yourself and stating your needs
• Interacting with certain types of people
• Being the center of attention
• Fear of something embarrassing happening 

The list continues. But what is the reason fear is so common and omnipresent in our daily lives? Fears, real or unreal, are our mind’s way of trying to protect us from getting hurt. Fears are also getting in our way of reaching our full potential as leaders. Imagine what your career would look like if you were fearless and unafraid of other people’s judgment.

Fearlessness is the sixth practice (a.k.a. discipline) out of the ten featured in this series of how you can unleash the career of your dreams. All ten practices help increase your leadership potential and performance. In case you have missed previous articles on the subject, here is the complete list of the ten practices as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC): 

1. Awareness
2. Acceptance
3. Conscious Choice
4. Trusting the Process
5. Authenticity
6. Fearlessness
7. Confidence
8. Connection
9. Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

When clients express their fears to me, my first approach is to explore the origin of their fears. Have they experienced situations in their formative years when their performance was not deemed good enough? Are they assuming that history will repeat itself because they have experienced a similar situation in the past? Are they interpreting a situation and steering away from the facts? Or are they holding limiting beliefs about what a person must look like and act like to become a successful executive? 

Once we have identified their inner blocks, my next step is to challenge their beliefs and find their truths. We are directing much awareness (see discipline #1) to the origins of their fears and then systematically dismantling them. When you gradually become more fearless, you can re-direct energies from holding you back to propelling you forward. When you are fearless, the sky is the limit. Wait, let me re-phrase that: When you are fearless, there are no limits to what you can achieve!  

As a professional coach, I have several tools to help you practice being a fearless leader. If you are interested in learning more, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

How comfortable are you in your own skin? How frequently do you put up a façade and sacrifice your own values just to fit in and appease others? Do you have pre-conceived notions of how you “should” be showing up at work, e.g., as a female executive, a business owner, or a person of color? Many people are caught in the trap of inauthenticity. There is even a saying for this behavior, “wearing the cloak”, and it is the opposite of being your authentic self.   

Authenticity has become somewhat of a buzz word in the corporate world. Companies are seeking authentic leaders. It is commonly believed that authentic leaders create lasting success, as they are championing those around them without pretense. They create a safe environment for continuous learning and space for their employees to be authentic and express their true selves without fear of ridicule or retribution.  

Authenticity is the fifth practice (a.k.a. discipline) out of the ten featured in this series of how you can unleash the career of your dreams. All ten practices help increase your leadership potential and performance. In case you have missed previous articles on the subject, here is the complete list of the ten practices as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC):

1. Awareness
2. Acceptance
3. Conscious Choice
4. Trusting the Process
5. Authenticity
6. Fearlessness
7. Confidence
8. Connection
9. Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

From my personal experience as a female executive, I would rate my past performance a seven out of ten for being an authentic leader. There were parts of me I would not allow others to see. For instance, I believed that expressing feelings of helplessness, anger, and frustration were not becoming of a female leader, so I suppressed them. Today I know better. What changed my perspective was a 10-month program of self-discovery and becoming a certified coach. Now I know and appreciate that there is only one me in this entire world and that what I contribute to society is unique.  

Today, I rate myself as a ten out of ten for being an authentic leader. Whenever I have an introductory call with a client or potential employer, I write the words “just be you” on the top of my notebook. It has become a mantra for me and reminds me to express my true, authentic self. I no longer feel the need to people-please. I don’t have to be everyone’s proverbial cup of tea. In fact, if I am not your cup of tea that is perfectly fine. Each of us has something unique about us, but it doesn’t necessarily mean we are all meant to be in each other’s lives. Being your authentic self allows you to be you and me to be me. 

You too are one of a kind! As a professional coach and previous corporate leader, I have several tools to help you discover your authentic self. If you are interested in learning more, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

“Trust the process” is a phrase that I frequently use when leading teams through massive changes and transformations like restructuring a department, implementing new strategies, or following a new vision. These are the type of scenarios where, as leaders, we need the conviction that our plans will work out for the best. In this article, I will share insights on learning to take a leap of faith in difficult situations and trust that your abilities will get you to the desired goal.  

Trusting the process is the fourth practice (a.k.a. discipline) out of the ten featured in this series of how you can unleash the career of your dreams. All ten practices help increase your leadership potential and performance. In case you have missed previous articles on the subject, here is the complete list of the ten practices as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC):

1. Awareness
2. Acceptance
3. Conscious Choice
4. Trusting the Process
5. Authenticity
6. Fearlessness
7. Confidence
8. Connection
9. Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

Have you ever been asked to make the impossible possible? I have a few times throughout my career. One of the biggest challenges I faced was re-structuring a global team of about 80 people, turning the department from a tactical execution team into a strategic growth accelerator with 50% of the budget and a one-year timeline.

I succeeded by trusting the process. Here are a few specifics on my approach that you could apply to any business challenge you face.

1. I surrounded myself with my leadership team and business partners to take a deep dive into historical spending, and detached from legacy and geography to determine available funds.
2. As a leadership team, we took a white-board approach and started from scratch. We asked ourselves if this department had never existed, how would we create it? We were innovative and bold in our approach.
3. We vetted the plan and obtained feedback from internal and external stakeholders.
4. We started executing the plan and closely monitored the traction we were gaining despite massive push-back from other parts of the organization
5. We communicated with stakeholders regularly, transparently provided metrics, and listened to feedback
6. We adjusted plans as needed based on our learnings

The results started to show after about ten months, which we predicted. After a while, my team was not only respected and appreciated but we were also brought in as consultants for other teams in the organization to help them strategize. 

A common mistake is to make course corrections too early in the process, for example, without gaining desired results or facing opposition. It is normal for fear and doubt to set in at times. This is an opportunity for further insights. My recommendation is to go inward and re-align with your purpose and values to make sure your plan passes the pressure test. 

Trusting the process means having faith that your plan will work out and letting go of fears associated with outcomes or resistance to change. At some point in time, you need to execute without overthinking your actions. When you can embrace significant challenges as a learning opportunity, you will always grow as a person and leader. It is perfectly normal and acceptable to make changes to the plan along the way, which further shows that you are learning and evolving. 

As a professional coach and previous corporate leader, I have several tools to help you learn how to trust the process. If you are interested, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

Decision-Making Paralysis: When needing to make a hard choice or decision, even the most experienced leaders can feel it. They get stuck in their head and old “battle wounds” surface, and are subconsciously applied to the choices at hand. As a result, they are draining themselves of their energy to make the best possible choice under the circumstances. Sound familiar? Read on to learn how to reverse decision-making paralysis, and step back into your power!

Conscious choice is the third practice (a.k.a. discipline) out of the ten featured in this series. All ten practices help increase your leadership potential and performance. Conscious choice is defined as deciding, while fully present in the moment and not to draw conclusions based on past experiences of similar situations, but on what is in front of you and the energy you want to approach the challenge with.

In case you have missed previous articles on the subject, here is the complete list of the ten practices as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC):

1. Awareness
2. Acceptance
3. Conscious Choice
4. Trusting the Process
5. Authenticity
6. Fearlessness
7. Confidence
8. Connection
9. Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

As humans, we make hundreds of choices a day. Ranging from the clothes we wear to the food we eat. We don’t give these choices much thought for the most part unless they come with significant risk. The greatest risks are associated with what we value the most, e.g., money, friendship, connection, success, etc. 

How you approach your choice has a significant impact on your level of energy. Using the example of deciding whether or not to attend a company social gathering, let’s look at two different ways to approach this scenario.

You decide to attend because:

1. a) You fear your manager would note your absence and would judge you as not engaged, which could impact your career trajectory in the organization.
2. b) You view the gathering as an excellent opportunity to connect with co-workers and see a side of them you typically wouldn’t at the office, helping you strengthen internal relationships.

Can you see the differences between these two approaches? Choice a) Is fear-based and comes from a low level of energy.  Choice b) Is purpose-based and is associated with higher levels of energy and consciousness that better serve you. To quote Nelson Mandela, “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” 

As a professional coach, I have several tools to help leaders out of their decision-making paralysis and approach choices with a high level of confidence and energy. If you are interested in learning how to unleash the career of your dreams, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

How often have you heard someone say, “it is, what it is”?  How did they say it, and what did you take away from it?  Did it sound like they were throwing in the towel in defeat?  Did you feel that these were the circumstances and you just need to deal with them?  If you answered yes to my last two questions, you might have witnessed or experienced a lack of acceptance. 

Acceptance is the second practice (a.k.a. discipline) out of the 10 I shared in the last blog that is needed to increase your leadership potential and performance.  As a quick reminder, here is the complete list as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC):

1.     Awareness
2.     Acceptance
3.     Conscious Choice
4.     Trusting the Process
5.     Authenticity
6.     Fearlessness
7.     Confidence
8.     Connection
9.     Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

So, what does acceptance mean, and how can it help you become a better leader?

I would like to use the example of a recent coaching client who started our session in a complete state of overwhelm.  They repeatedly used the words “could have” and “should have,” putting a high portion of the judgment on situations that occurred in the past, on other people, and themselves.  They were unaccepting of the circumstances.

Acceptance of yourself, other people, and situations means removing judgment and just acknowledging what is and what was. 

When you dwell on your frustration, pain, or disappointment, you are draining your energy level and cannot perform to your full potential in this present moment.  Acceptance means permitting yourself to move on.

It is undeniable that our past has a significant impact on who we are as a person.  Many factors shaped us and turned us into who we are today: where we grew up, our family, friends, hobbies, etc. However, once you recognize what got you here without judging events as “good” or “bad” and are fully accepting of who you are today, you have the power to decide who you want to be going forward. 

I use multiple techniques and tips as a coach to help my clients practice acceptance. Here are a few of the big ones:

1.     Don’t take things personally

This can be hard, especially when you feel as if someone pushes your buttons or provokes you. I wrote a separate article on the topic of pushing buttons that you can find on my blog https://belladonnacareercoach.com/stop-pushing-my-buttons/

2.     Release your expectations

Most leaders are competitive by nature and seek a win, struggling with the concept of “detaching from the outcome.” When you approach a project with expectations of how your environment will receive it, you set yourself up for failure.  It is understandable to crave recognition from superiors when in reality, all you can do is control your thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you approach any situation as a learning opportunity, you will always win!

3.     Reframe your mind

Have you ever seen a peer getting promoted and reacted with feelings of frustration because you thought for sure it was your turn?  Instead of dwelling in your sorrow, try to find a thought that better serves you and helps you move forward.  For example, you could tell yourself, “I applaud their achievement.  My time will come, and in the meantime, I can gain more experience.”

Like any other discipline, achieving mastery in acceptance takes practice and time.  You’ll have arrived when instead of saying “it is what it is,” you’ll just say “IT IS.”

If you are interested in starting your journey to greater acceptance and unleashing the career of your dreams, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.

If I told you that I am holding the key to reaching your full potential as a leader, how interested would you be to learn more?  

I am launching a series of ten practices that will raise your level of energy and presence if applied on an ongoing basis and, therefore, unleash the career of your dreams!

These ten practices are also known as the “Ten Disciplines of High Potentiality and Performance” as defined by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC):

1. Awareness
2. Acceptance
3. Conscious Choice
4. Trusting the Process
5. Authenticity
6. Fearlessness
7. Confidence
8. Connection
9. Presence in the Moment
10. 100% Energetic Engagement

Like with any skill you may have mastered over the years, achieving excellence in any of these practices requires some work and effort.  Consider learning about and implementing them one at a time as a long-term investment in yourself and your career.  

We are kicking off this series with the first practice – Awareness.  

On a scale of one (not at all) to ten (completely), how do you rate your current level of awareness?  Many consider themselves completely aware of themselves, others, and their environment. Yet, they fall into the trap of believing the fabricated stories in their heads and viewing circumstances through their own lens, confusing their truth with “the Truth.” What’s the difference?  The Truth is irrefutable and not subject to interpretation or perspective. It simply is.  

Have you ever left work infuriated, upset, in tears, or wholly deflated and demotivated?  I have! And to make matters worse, I was unable to let go of some distressing events, rehashing them at home and ruining everyone else’s evening.  Trust me when I say that when you learn to receive information as just input and look at facts detached from ego, emotion, or judgment, it will save you sleepless nights of overwork or deep levels of distress.  

When you increase your level of awareness, you decrease drama and stress in your life and learn how to respond instead of reacting.  As a professional coach, I help my clients establish a greater inner and outer awareness to improve their performance and reach their full potential as leaders.  A commonly seen and welcomed side effect is that they are also achieving much better work/life balance and greater satisfaction levels in all areas of life.  If you are interested in starting your journey to greater awareness and unleashing the career of your dreams, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com. 

Hello, 2022!  Albeit the end of January, I would like to welcome you with open arms and declare 2022 my year of total freedom!

Freedom is defined as “the right to act, speak, or think without hindrance or restraint.”  In the United States, we frequently take these rights for granted. In comparison, other parts of the world are oppressive in their tolerance of freedom and persecute those who oppose totalitarian governments and leaders.  

Strangely, as Americans, we have the right to be free according to the definition of the word. Many of us will not give ourselves permission to execute this right.  Why?  Internal blocks are preventing us from acting, speaking, or thinking freely.  We have been conditioned from our childhood to conform.  We are taught that failure to conform in the best-case scenario could result in public embarrassment, and in the worst-case scenario, the results could be some sort of punishment.    

Over many years we write our confining script and develop fears of speaking our mind or acting as our authentic selves.  We develop debilitating gremlins, commonly known as our inner critic, and self-sabotage by continuing to listen to that voice.  It might be telling you that you are not good enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough, etc.  The list goes on and on.  

If we are fortunate, we come to a point when we recognize that the only thing holding us back from living our best lives is our gremlins. If we are bold enough, we start exploring what they have been whispering in our ears and questioning if what they are “saying” is indeed true.  

With the help of a professional coach, you can embark on a journey of achieving total freedom.  How do I know?  I have been on this journey for quite some time, and I credit my coaching training through iPEC in helping me face my own gremlins and re-write my script.  I am free!  I am free of fear, judgment, and past, and free to live my life as my authentic self!

If 2022 is the year you want to start your journey to total freedom in your career or other areas of your life, contact me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com

It is November, and my favorite U.S. holiday is rapidly approaching– Thanksgiving. This is a day dedicated to expressing gratitude for our blessings regardless of our religion, ethnic background, or economic status. But what if I told you that practicing gratitude consciously 365 days a year instead of just one could help you improve your physical, emotional, and social wellbeing? How curious would you be to learn more?

It is common to direct our focus on the stress we experience at work and in life. Like missing a goal, having a manager who is not supportive, or the regret that the weekend has come to an end and we are starting the rat race all over again. We concentrate on what we are lacking: time, money, friends, fun; the list goes on and on, and without realizing it we are creating our own misery.  

When coaching clients who express their overwhelm, I ask them to tell me 10 things they are grateful for in their life. Frequently the answer to this question does not come easily, as it requires reframing our brain. Simply put we can’t think negative and positive thoughts at the same time and need to shift our focus. 

Gratitude is a mindset we choose. It is the secret to living a joyful, fulfilling life, a gift available to anyone. It is the fastest way to raise your energy level, and the best part is that it doesn’t cost a thing! Studies have shown that people of all ages see improvements in the areas of physical, emotional, and social wellbeing by practicing gratitude daily through being present and acknowledging the good in their lives.

So how can you integrate a practice of gratitude into your daily routine? Here are five of my favorite tips:

1. Start and end your day with gratitude

From the moment you wake up in the morning, you can find many reasons to be grateful. You can feel your breath in your lungs, you are alive, or maybe you were able to sleep in a little longer and linger under the warm, cozy sheets. Or maybe you observed a beautiful sunrise or sunset. At the end of the day, be grateful for the lessons you have learned.

2. Remind yourself of what you are providing for others

It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, you are serving a purpose on this earth and are here to make other people’s life easier, safer, healthier, wealthier, etc. You may not think of your job that way, but what you do is important. Being grateful for these opportunities is a wonderful form of gratitude. 

3. Say “thank you” more often

What if you finished every conversation you have with a thank you? Imagine how much joy you would spread among not only the people you know but also strangers you interact with? 

4. Make gratitude a habit

A standard recommendation is to keep a gratitude journal and add to it daily, but that may be considered too much work for some people. You don’t have to write down your thoughts of what you are grateful for, just practice gratitude as a daily habit, e.g., during a specific time of the day set your alarm and think of five things you are grateful for in that moment.

5. Spend time in nature

Nature has the power to remind us there are greater forces in this world than us. Marvel at your surroundings, the elements, creatures, smells, and sounds, Appreciate you’re here and alive!

When researching this article, I came across many inspirational quotes on gratitude. Simply reading them immediately raised my level of energy. Here is the one that resonated the most with me: “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder” (Gilbert Keith Chesterton). 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

On a scale of 1 to 10, with one being very uncomfortable and ten being extremely confident, where do you find yourself when it comes to making decisions? Your answer may vary based on the gravity of the decision, your life experiences, or the impact your decision may have on yourself or others.

Which career path is the right one for me? Do I have what it takes for a leadership role? What is best for my team and me? Who is worth my time, energy, support, and mentorship? Who is the right person for this role? Who and what is getting in my way from executing my vision and that of the organization? These are questions that leaders ask themselves regularly. I have been there, and I know from experience how hard particular career and life choices can be.

Decisions are complicated. We make hundreds of them daily without even giving it a thought. From clothes, food, company we surround ourselves with, activities to decompress, the list goes on and on. Yet, there are decisions that we do not make easily, especially if we have experienced loss, disappointment, or regret after choosing one path over another, and fear interferes with our decision-making. 

There is ample research related to decision-making and what can get in our way of making decisions. We have inert cognitive biases that keep us from leaving our comfort zone. We choose “the devil we know” rather than exploring the new. Just imagine how much richness, juiciness, and adventure we are missing out on just by “playing it safe.”  

As a professional coach who frequently works with clients who are uncertain about their decisions and would much rather have someone advise them on which way is best for them, I understand their uncertainties, especially when the stakes are high. Should I leave my job and accept the offer I received? Is the grass greener in another company? Is it worth uprooting my family and relocating to another area? Am I too old to pursue another career path? These are common big decisions that may come up. 

Many of us are familiar with creating a pros and cons list when making big decisions. However, that list only scratches the surface and does not address the underlying emotions associated with making a big decision. There are endless tools that I can offer to support and coach you to the point of embracing your decisions. 

One tool I like to use is called “The Pain/Gain Model of Action” (provided through iPEC). In this model, we are not simply looking at the pros and cons of deciding, but we are exploring your beliefs of how you are benefiting from your current situation. We will then look at what is holding you back from changing your situation. We are tapping into your emotions and your internal blocks. What limiting beliefs, interpretations, or assumptions do you hold on to that are keeping you from making that decision? Is your inner voice challenging you and telling you that you are not good enough?  

If any of this resonates with you, you might benefit from one-on-one coaching with me. I’ll help you remember that you have all the knowledge, wisdom, and resources you need to make the right decisions for yourself and for those whose lives you are impacting. It may not be as simple as choosing vanilla ice cream over chocolate, but you will have all of the tools you need to overcome the decision-making dilemma. 

Do you feel like you have been trying to walk through molasses for the past 18 months and that the global pandemic has derailed or delayed your innermost wishes in your career and in life? Does it seem like you are fighting an uphill battle when it comes to achieving that promotion that has been dangled in front of you like a carrot ever since you started your new job? Has your start-up business taken a major detour because your target customer group was the hardest hit during the pandemic and you realized that continuing down the same path could mean losing your home, income, and most importantly, the shred of security you have been hanging onto?

If so, you are not alone! The good news is that there is a skill that you can practice that many successful leaders hold as one of their core values. Using this skill can help you overcome any obstacle. It is known as perseverance. Perseverance is defined as the continued effort to do something despite difficulties, or in layman terms to never give up! Perseverance is what helps you push through the tough times and keeping the end goal in mind regardless of whether you are dealing with external blocks, like the economy, or with internal blocks, like believing that you do not have what it takes to conquer whatever it is that is getting in your way.   

In my own life and career, I have defied the odds and persevered many times. In High School, I was diagnosed with a bilateral spinal fracture that forced me to give up my passion, Karate, and it almost set me back two years, as the school administration wanted me to start over again, because I could not continue with my major in sports and my case was unprecedented. In my career, I had to deal with setbacks due to changes in leadership as well as environments of exclusion. But I persevered to become an executive in multi-billion dollar organizations. And even now I am overcoming the difficulties of being an entrepreneur establishing Belladonna Career Coaching as a profitable business and global community of like-minded individuals who want to pursue the career of their dreams. 

As someone who “has been there and done that”, I would like to share some strategies that will inspire you to carry on in the quest of your dreams. 

1. Align your goals with your purpose and values

You must believe in what you are fighting for. It has to be worth it for YOU. Achieving this goal has to fill your proverbial cup. If your driver is external expectations that are put upon you by well-meaning parents or other individuals influencing your life, you are less likely to succeed. And even if you do, it will not have a deep meaning to you.

2. Reframe self-limiting beliefs and thoughts

It is completely normal to have moments of self-doubt. Our innermost insecurities will rear their ugly head on this journey, guaranteed. “Am I doing enough?”, “am I doing the right thing?”, “Is there really an unfulfilled need for what I offer?”, “is my niche unique enough?” Any or all of these thoughts might enter your mind. You need to reframe your brain and re-write your script with thoughts that support you in your mission, e.g., “my ideas and actions are in alignment with my purpose and I will attract amazing, grateful clients”.

3. Practice self-care

You’ll need all your physical, mental, and emotional strength to persevere. When we are fighting so hard for what we truly want it is easy to burn out and to forget to prioritize ourselves. Self-care doesn’t have to cost much money. It can be as easy as taking a walk in nature or meditating, getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and not overindulging. 

4. Stay in your own lane

Define what success looks like for YOU. Try not to compare yourself to the hyped-up success stories you see on social media. Have a plan that is achievable and yet stretches you. Always look at what you are learning about yourself along the way. 

5. Keep going

It is normal to have the desire to quit especially when you are not yet seeing the results that you are wishing for right away. It is better to continue taking baby steps, than not doing anything at all. Confucius concurs with his saying “it doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop”!

Whenever I experience difficulties, I think of my mother and her upbringing in Germany during and after World War II as a refuge experiencing poverty and starvation while growing up. Reflecting on the obstacles she overcame I feel empowered and strong. I make no complaints and no excuses but push forward with a positive attitude and the belief that I am unstoppable!

If you need help in developing perseverance as a skill, please reach out to me to set up a complimentary discovery call to see if I can coach you to success.  

I have a question for you. When it comes to regretting past actions at work or home, where do you fall on a scale of one to ten, with one having no regrets and ten being totally full of regret? Read on if I piqued your curiosity as to what your answer might indicate and if you “should” be doing something about it.

A quick Google search on regrets shows a difference between men and women. Generally speaking, females rank higher regarding regrets, especially related to relationships, drinking, and one-night stands. Admittedly, education and career may not be among the top regrets of American women, but according to the “Daily Mail,” 13% voiced regrets about their education or lack thereof and 12% about their career. Still significantly higher than the 9% of women regretting parenting decisions!

If I had a penny for every time I heard a coaching client repeatedly utilize the words “I should have… (you can fill in the blanks as the variations are endless, e.g., I should have kept my mouth shut, or I should have said something), I would be a wealthy woman. 

During my iPEC coaching program, I learned early on that people who are “shoulding” all over themselves are heavy on self-judgment, and that should = shame + could. Those using the words “shoulda, coulda, woulda” are looking in the rear-view mirror and are hanging on to an action that is in the past and cannot be undone. That is a waste of energy!   

When coaching clients, there are a few questions I might ask:

• How is it serving you to hang on to the thought that a different action might have achieved a different outcome?
• What evidence do you have that the results would have been different?
• What does the action you took say about yourself? What other perspective might there be?
• If your best friend was in the same situation, what advice would you give them?
• What did you learn about yourself from the experience?
• How would forgiving yourself help you move forward?  

Asking empowering questions brings awareness to the situation and shifts the mindset to acceptance of what happened. This enables the client to move on, take back their power, and consciously choose their responses without regret. They are making life so much less stressful and more enjoyable.  

When I think about my own shoulda, coulda, woulda, the late French chanteuse Edith Piaf comes to mind. 

She was a legend. A powerhouse of a singer, although tiny in stature at only 4’10” (147 cm). One of her most famous songs was “je ne regrette rien” (I do not regret anything). The lyrics are emotional as she takes ownership of the good and the bad that happened in her life. The last line of this song translates into “Today, it starts with you!”.  

Alongside Edith, I invite you to step into the present and live your life fully – without any regrets. If you are not quite ready to leave the past behind, working with me as your professional coach might help you take the first step into today. I guarantee you will feel so much happier without all those shoulda, coulda, and woulda’s!  

Last Sunday, during my weekly call with my mother, we had an argument. It became such an uncomfortable conversation that she suggested we end it, that I “should go and sit by my pool to get in a better mood.” My response to her was, “I am NOT in a bad mood,” which at that point could not have been further from the truth. So, what happened during the call that caused our weekly conversation to derail? I had my buttons pushed.  

I had good news to share with my mom. In the last couple of weeks, I signed two new coaching clients. One year after I embarked on this journey and founded Belladonna Career Coaching, I gained traction and recognition for my work. Of course, my mom was happy to hear the news and expressed that all my hard work is finally paying off.  But with that, I heard an underlying concern about my financial security and my capability to provide for myself.  

During my iPEC coaching program, I learned that button-pushing is “triggering a catabolic reaction,” causing strong emotions to arise. I also learned that no one pushes our buttons unless we allow that to happen because our reaction is simply our interpretation of what was said.  

When you (or I) feel like buttons are being pushed, here are some questions to think about:

1. When this happens, what do you hear that is said (or not said) to mean about you? What’s the interpretation of what is that you are making that is causing you to react?
2. What’s another possible interpretation?
3. On the one hand, you said it was (your first interpretation); on the other hand, you said it’s possibly (another interpretation). Which one is it?
4. Given the different ways of seeing the situation, how will you choose to view it and respond now or next time?

We all have buttons, and they can easily get in the way of our success in our careers and in life. When we only look at the world through one lens, we tend to interpret things as black and white, right or wrong. Then we use this linear thinking to judge ourselves and others.  

After the call with my mom, I went outside and sat by my pool as she suggested. The weather was gorgeous. I had a nice cocktail in my hand, and yet I was still stewing about what happened during the call. I started coaching myself by asking myself the recommended list of questions. 

The buttons that were coming up were about my own vulnerabilities. When my mother questions my physical, financial, or emotional well-being, I interpret it as I am not strong enough to deal with any given situation, and I want to prove her wrong. Another more supportive interpretation could simply be that she feels vulnerable and incapable of helping her daughter, for whom she wishes life was only a bed of red roses. Of course, without any thorns. With that thought in my mind, my anger vanished. I called my mom back and apologized for my reaction.  

If you are easily triggered and are concerned you might be self-sabotaging your career because you react to stressors and take them personally, I recommend you work with a coach. Together, we can increase your level of awareness so that you break the reactive pattern and choose how to respond rather than react.   

I am accepting new clients and can’t wait to call my mom and tell her about it!

Our names are the core of our identity, yet, according to statistics, 80% of women in the US willingly take on their spouse’s name when they get married; without much hesitation or thought about how it may impact their professional brand.  

Twenty-five years ago, I was one of them when I moved from Germany to the United States and got married. Although my divorce dates back nearly eight years, I have only recently reclaimed my maiden name. You might be asking why did I wait so long? The answer is that I was paralyzed by the fear of losing my professional brand. 

After all, my career here in the US was established under my married name, and my worldwide network knew me as Angela Saulino.  This included thousands of people.  In addition, that name had a nice ring to it with a total of seven vowels, easily pronounceable in most languages, which was helpful in the global roles I held, or at least that is what I was telling myself. 

So, I stuck with my married name until the time came when I could no longer identify with it. I felt resentment and anger whenever I introduced myself, checked into a hotel, or needed to spell out my last name. That was a lot of wasted negative energy that I directed at myself.  With the help of a professional coach, I started to realize that hanging on to a name that I could no longer identify with came at a high cost – my emotional wellbeing. My coach also questioned my limiting belief that changing my name would negatively impact my professional brand.  

Finally, I concluded that it was time to act.  Since I have dual citizenship and it has been a global pandemic, it has been quite an endeavor that has caused me enormous stress, time, and money working between two government bodies in the U.S. and Germany. Those who have followed my name-change journey know of the many setbacks I have had and the emotional roller coaster I have been on.  

At the beginning of this year, I created a vision board. On it, I claimed my name and committed to following through with the process.  I realized that my personal identity or positive emotions connected to my maiden name far outweighed any perceived consequences of a compromised professional brand.  

If you are considering giving up your name upon getting married, I encourage you to think twice about what you are gaining vs. what you are potentially losing with this change.  Do you want your future accomplishments, certificates, and professional reputation tied to someone else’s name?  

I AM ANGELA MEYBURG.  If you have known me professionally as Angela Saulino and enjoyed working with me, I guarantee you that you will LOVE working with Angela Meyburg, for she is her authentic self. Fun, competent and, free!